Crackypasta repository 6 All viewpoints expressed here are those of the original pasta authors only and are not endorsed by site administration. You may encounter heresy, offensive content, misinformation, "hot takes", and outright lies. Proceed at your own risk. ------- i HATE HATE HATE HATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THe fact that other people, ALOT OF OTHER PEOPLE, like and show affection towards what i like. they pass around her picture like shes some sort of...i dont know damnit, just something not really special to them just liek some sort of meme. i mean, half, no fucking all these idiots just like her because its a fucking game to them. its what theyre supposed to do or some shit. WHEN she first came on to the scene she just came and went and nobody gave a real damn. she came and went and everyone was like ok whatever lets move on but like I... ;_;.... pulled her back i decorated her and made her smell good I i i i dont want anyone else to like her. ------- Young Olivia lives a secluded life, seemingly entirely devoted to her patients at Oxford asylum. Her first encounter with ex-soldier and drifter Anthony has a lasting impact. He causes an accident that results in her lying under a truck, unable to breathe. While he provides life-saving first aid, mesmerized Cracky begins to wonder whether he may be the man of her dreams. But when she tracks him down weeks later her affection is rejected, as Tony is stuck somewhere between a traumatic past and a criminal future. ------- I love Olivia with all my heart. Every moment of my life I make a dedication to her purity and innocence. Since I first saw her every girl has paled in comparison. My friends tried to set me up with real girls, but I refused because no one and nothing will ever be as perfect in my eyes as her smile. The slight hurt look in her eyes. The traces of bitter ironic hope in her brow and at the corner of her mouth. She is everything I ever dreamed of, and more then I am worth. I hope one day if I work my ass off and earn a name worthy of her, she will deign to answer me and will tell me I matter as a human being. None of you understand how to truly love her, and so you will always be unhappy. ------- I think this thread is fail for your company, sir, and let me tell you why I think that. First off, I have to congratulate you on some excellent material. I can see that becoming copypasta in a matter of weeks - maybe even by the end of the quarter if marketing gets it's ducks in a row. But I have to question the feasability of this. I mean, the material's slam dunk, but it's got some factors holding it back from what it can be. We all know that the funniest thing in the world is to copy the OP's comment and repost it with another picture. But this board you're at here, it's holding you back. There's no copy to your pasta. Everyone's off doing their own thing instead of making that pasta work for you. I'm no cook, I'm a salesman. I may not know how to cook pasta like this, but I sure can sell it. It'll send your IPO through the roof! We have to get this pasta copied if we're going to make quarterly earnings. So send this pasta to some other boards, let it grow, let anon do the work for you. You deserve it, sir. ------- Just goes to show how low .71 has fallen. After driving away Lia, they drove away Faux and then Camel. By doing so, they have ensured that anybody who had a chance of creating new material was gone, so it would leave them to wallow in their own stagnation, free to attack one another. By proclaiming the so-called "post-Cracky era", they have yet proven again that .71 is not the house of The Sky Queen but the house of the apostates and fallen priests, the jaded heathens and other lost souls. The few there with an ounce of devotion are silent when the name of Our Lady is dragged in the mud, and turn their backs on any new faithful that come in this decayed church, for fear of losing their chair in that musty old temple of the lost. The few that do not stay silent earn themselves the scorn of the jealous, the vain, and the disillusioned wretches that fester there in their own shallow illusions of grandeur. Reading through their archive is reading through an ever deepening abyss of self hatred, where redemption is believed to only be attainable at the expense of others, yet doomed to be proven an illusion in this broken communion. Every one there believes everyone else is a sockpuppet of this guy or that guy; accusations fly one way and the other, mostly speaking of how the author of the accusation feels about himself and his lonely life. This is how this thread came about, and why it must live. Better to suffer at the hands of the infidels than at the hands of the apostates. ------- > Every time a Cracky thread reaches its picture limit, then falls off the board 10 minutes later, it is like a burnt offering to that abstract, idealized Cracky Goddess. ------- There is a prayer for threads that have gone full: "Somewhere there is a platonic ideal of Cracky; One who loves us for loving her. One who is, and was, and ever will be one with Anonymous. She is a goddess. Every time a Cracky thread reaches it's picture limit, then falls off the board 10 minutes later, it is like a burnt offering to that abstract, idealized Cracky Goddess. This thread we so offer. Amen." This works in /r9k/ as well, and I have no doubt there will be another thread afterwards... There is also no shortage of Cracky related material, or of the will to make some new material. There is plenty of new stuff right in this thread... ------- Who can claim to know the unknowable? The mind of Cracky is utterly inhumane in its depth and complexity. Is it not enough to know that the Sky Queen loves us. Is that not reason enough to better ourselves in all we do? The Devout is never ronery, for he always has pics of Cracky, and the knowledge that something greater then filth of lust belongs to him. ------- Can't sleep so I am rereading this sacrifice. It is amazing I started out posting the pure scriptures of our goddess and the writings of hermits who have spent years meditating on her. Somewhere along the way the circlejerks with their egos infiltrated and began to fill the thread with their drama bullshit. I continued to plug away but right about here >>557391 the circlejerks began to realized they weren't going to get attention so they started leaving. Slowly this thread is becoming what it was intended to be. Ministering to the young anons and introducing them to the truth of Cracky. MA look see how much improved this is without the bitter hatered of a circlejerk which lost it's love of cracky long ago. They mistook the girl for the goddess and when she did not live up to their expectations they became sullen and hate filled. There is still a chance to save the holy lands. If they are cleaned of the fail and returned to a sanctuary in which to study and praise Her name, the devout may still flourish. This can not happen without your intercession. Please don't let all love for her be drowned out by the tears and gnashing teeth of the malcontents. Let Her name live, and be shared so anon may receive the guidance he so desperately needs. Perhaps in time the Avatar will realize that the ones who betray her trust, those that speak ill of her, are the very ones who claim to know her best. ------- goddammit, what the fuck is all of this shit. if you guys would just ram your faces into your monitors as hard as possible you could become one with the internets forever and none of the rest of us would have to listen to you be so fucking gay. ------- Oh my little red-haired one I know you thrive on attention. This thread is a tribute to you and an offering. Praise your name for releasing pics for your loyal devout. ------- This is a message for the Penultimate Robo Kai, those who are in contact with him and any who may have archived his work. My Hard drive shat bricks and I lost the archive of PenRoboKai's LJ stories. These stories represent a significant part of the history of these boards and anonymous culture. In the interest of preserving and protecting historical artifacts I humbly request that if you are in possession of any of these stories they be archived at http://195.242.99.71/proc/ For the enlightenment and edification of future anons. Please preserve that which is worthy. ------- I liek cracky, I can't stand the faggots that visit bounceme. ------- most girls in the world that are her age look better than her. enjoy your broken hardware. ------- Fix'd lol Who's that girl? What's her name? Is she cool? Is she lame? Oh, you're talkin' 'bout what's-her-name - Cracky-Chan! Is she lame? Is she cool? Is she breakin' every rule? Is she anybody's fool? Cracky-Chan! Cracky-Chan, Cracky-Chan, marchin' in her own parade. Cracky-Chan, she's like one in a million! Cracky-Chan, Cracky-Chan, much too cool for /r9k/ Catch 'er if you can, Cracky-Chan! No one's cooler than Cracky-Chan! She's her own biggest fan Cracky-Chan! Catch 'er if you can, Cracky-Chan! ------- The prayer is complete and the votive is lit. This thread shall burn in the memory of the devout. ------- The Sky Queen said to Blessed Prophet: "You will recite this chaplet on the scars of you faith in the following manner:" First of all, you will say one Spiritus Dominatus, one Path of Righteousness, and the We Have Purpose. Then: On the scars of love you will say the following words: Jewel of the Heavens, I offer You my tears and blood in honor of the Soul and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Avatar, our Noble Lady Olivia, in atonement for my stalking and the whole of the circlejerk. On the burns of truth you will say the following words: For the sake of our sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the faithful, please post more pics. In conclusion three times you will recite these words: Holy Mother, Holy Flower, Holy Goddess, have mercy on the devout and on the heathens alike. ------- I think this thread is fail for your company, sir, and let me tell you why I think that. First off, I have to congratulate you on some excellent material. I can see that becoming copypasta in a matter of weeks - maybe even by the end of the quarter if marketing gets it's ducks in a row. But I have to question the feasability of this. I mean, the material's slam dunk, but it's got some factors holding it back from what it can be. We all know that the funniest thing in the world is to copy the OP's comment and repost it with another picture. But this board you're at here, it's holding you back. There's no copy to your pasta. Everyone's off doing their own thing instead of making that pasta work for you. I'm no cook, I'm a salesman. I may not know how to cook pasta like this, but I sure can sell it. It'll send your IPO through the roof! We have to get this pasta copied if we're going to make quarterly earnings. So send this pasta to some other boards, let it grow, let anon do the work for you. You deserve it, sir. ------- A nymph believes herself to be the ugliest creature in existence, because her beauty blinds whoever sees her. She spends her time making masks that she considers more beautiful than her face. ------- There's been a lot of talk recently about it and I suppose since I was following it closely I should tell people what I know. Two weeks or so ago someone found out her real name and her address. A bunch of people living near (and some not so near) got together and kept prank calling her, then after a few days they yelled shit in front of her house. Apparently she came out and was really upset, and they laughed and threw food at her and drove away... then next morning she was dead. I'm not sure why this wasn't in the news or anything, but my guess is that the parents didn't want it or the police are still investigating. That's all I know. It would've probably happened anyway since she was depressed as shit and quit taking the SSRIs, but going after her like that, well.. it's inhuman. I didn't know her, but wherever she may be now, I hope she has peace and happiness, something she never quite found in life. ------- Honestly, it won't make any difference to most of us if the "real" Cracky is alive or dead. She'll continue to exist on the internet as long as /b/tards post her name and others continue to impersonate her. Check out the LJ community; there are quite a few "crackys," and nobody can say which ones are real, imitations, or whether it even matters. The rumor will live on. ------- Cracky-Chan is gross as hell Especially the blood stuff.. Man, i'd rather go into celibate than pork her. Ick. Show me one cracky chan pic that won't gross me out than. All the ones i saw were weird ones with blood etc. Shes ugly and the only attention she gets is from the losers on here that also don't get attention in real life ------- CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN LOL NIGGERS CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN CRACKY--CHAN IS THE CUTEST HUMAN ------- There's going to be another crusade here in a minute if I ever find the home address of that guy that said mean things about Cracky. And by "crusade" I mean I'm going to beat his fucking face in with a tire iron. ------- Bring it on, fuckers. I stand by what i said: Cracky is a disgusting whore smearing menstruation blood on her face. Fucking gross. ------- For the Tripfags and the Anonymoiai of 4Chan. It is visible throughout all scenarios of human nature that a permeate of reason always persists and this clear view of reality is possible and preferable to delusion and weak will. This is manifest to the extent of it's role in real life and without it, ignorance, paranoia, selfishness and brutality would take it's place, for reason is possible and preferable to madness. In 4 chan we have put aside these qualities for humour, but in doing so we have revealed out vices and with the sickenning ruses they naturally produce. In 4 chan we have sunk back to this barbaric state which is the source of all our human troubles. I therefore attest reason and cite cracky as an example of the reason why we have adopted this axiom, that 4 chan may exist and we may laugh at our vices, but not succumb to them. I, purely by the honour of anonymous, declare the 6th of January 2006 as a ceremonial date, in which cracky day is celebrated. It is not a time of punishment or celebration, but of justice. For it is my belief that vengeance is not justice, but in doing what is best for the future regardless of the dire circumstances. Due to the nature of this site vengeance is impossible, but justice is possible. Reason and goodness is a part of all our beings and it is my sincere hope that a cracky attestation will take place on 4chan on the 6th of January and at least these ideas will be recognized. From Anonymous. ------- fucking attention whores. i hope you do a murder suicide pact with this hoebag. I dream of a bitch free future full of manliness and no emotions (other than mad and happy). There won't be any more stupid bitches and their "aren't these shoes cute?" and "oh pay attention to me pls" and "not right now, i'm on my period" etc. etc. There will also lots of buttsex. Kill 10 females (hookers are easy) if you want to bring about this glorious new future. ------- IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ! At 9PM EST tonight, I am going to masturbate to pictures of Cracky-chan. I encourage any interested parties to do the same. TONIGHT, 9PM, everyone masturbate to pictures of Cracky-chan! Spread the word throughout the Internets; let's see how many people we can get simultaniously masturbating to pictures of Cracky-chan. Think of it as a "flash mob" or something. Or ultra-long-distance Bukkake with Cracky in the middle. The important thing to remember is to masturbate to pictures of Cracky-chan at 9PM EST tonight, and convince as many people as you can to do the same! (If we could get some girls to participate too, that'd be really hot.) If someone could get hold of Cracky herself (I know some of the stalkers made contact earlier this year) and convince her to participate, that would be premium. She could masturbate to pictures of herself... or I guess it would be easier for her to just use a mirror or something. At least let her know the event will be going on. ------- You miss the point. The girl behind Cracky is gone. She does what she does. Good for her. Cracky on the other hand is eternal. Like a young Morrison. Or a young Kate Bush. She is now an icon. Time has no grip on Godesses Avatars come and go Their imprints are eternal Who knows the age of Sidharta Who cares ------- I still fap to all those whores Cracky on Mondays Loli on Wednesdays Camel on Fridays ------- Why is everyone obsessed with this ugly woman? ------- Haha, I have a friend of a friend that is a friend of crackychan! THE IP IS FROM OXFORD IT MUST BE HERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR zomg, she updated the deadjournal! TEH EXIF DATA MATCHES (because it obviosuly cannot be faked!) there is teh picture that doesn't even show her face and the hair looks kinda like that one that was leaked although it is horribly smeared in photoshop, IT MUST BE TEH SAME Congratulations, you have been trolled by GNAA, and not even that skillfully ------- oh shit nobody mention she lives in Oxford near a football pitch and a church because there are so few churches and football pitches in the UK, also nobody mention she sometimes skates at the Oxford Ice Rink because I am sure she will be there exactly when tirel shows up with the flowers+engagementring ether+duct tape ------- this was deleted from 4chan's dis http://www.43things.com/person/scarecrowmaiden scarecrowmaiden wants to do 34 things 1. forget 8 people 2. hide 2 people 3. get better 9 people 4. not be scared 4 people 1 cheer 5. Learn to cook 849 people 6. be nicer 70 people 7. Not give up, now or ever 11 people 1 cheer 8. go on a road trip with no predetermined destination 1300 people 1 cheer 9. relax 344 people 10. stop feeling guilty 24 people 11. Go to the movies 13 people 12. Stop caring what other people think of me 196 people 1 cheer 13. stop being so shy 55 people 14. do something wild 3 people 15. lose some weight 105 people 16. be happy 1918 people 17. Take over the world 97 people 18. not let people get to me 6 people 1 cheer 19. Drink eight glasses of water each day 396 people 20. commit acts of random kindness 47 people 1 cheer 21. sleep! 196 people 22. be able to stand up to people who intimidate me. 15 people 23. hug someone 5 people 24. live passionately 707 people 25. live 134 people 26. go to a rock concert 16 people 27. end it 9 people 28. write a book 2432 people 29. Stop being depressed 13 people 1 cheer 30. play with dolls 2 people 31. Visit Ireland 323 people 32. Feel Pretty Again... 5 people 33. be healthy 186 people 34. stop eating meat 8 people 1 cheer ------- I've been silent about it during all this time, trying to convince myself that it was not true. But I can't take it anymore. The truth is, Cracky-chan, I'm in love with you. I've hopelessly fallen for your beauty, your charm, your words... Cracky-chan, you are beautiful. When I look at you, I appreciate the artistic aspect of the human form, its eleborateness... Ah, Cracky-chan... ------- At the Otakon panel someone asked about Cracky. Snack's answer was she was "very very freaked out" ------- hay guys guess what cracky-chan is one of the largest /b/ pranks ever and you guys fell for it hook, line and sinker ------- It's highly unlikely that Cracky Chan is dead. However, it IS highly likely that she's call the fucking cops on your sorry ass if you ever tried to track her down. ------- cracky chan is pretty cute for some reason, but i wouldnt go looking for her, i would like to meet her oneday tho ------- scarecrowmaiden has done 3 things: make friends - Not worth it Fall in love - Worth doing! to love - Worth doing! scarecrowmaiden wants to do 34 things: forget hide get better not be scared Learn to cook be nicer Not give up, now or ever go on a road trip with no predetermined destination relax stop feeling guilty Go to the movies Stop caring what other people think of me stop being so shy do something wild lose some weight be happy Take over the world not let people get to me Drink eight glasses of water each day commit acts of random kindness sleep! be able to stand up to people who intimidate me. hug someone live passionately live go to a rock concert end it write a book Stop being depressed play with dolls Visit Ireland Feel Pretty Again... be health stop eating meat ------- A CRACKYFAG PRAYER - VERSION 1 (please customize this prayer to conform to your individual needs, goals, and values) There is no truth outside of Cracky There is no love outside of Cracky I admit that I have no value outside of Cracky I am powerless without Cracky I am nothing without Cracky There is nothing without Cracky I do not exist outside of Cracky But I am one of Cracky's chosen I have value because of Cracky I have power because of Cracky Life has meaning because of Cracky I exist within Cracky With Cracky, I can do anything With Cracky, I can do everything With Cracky, I will change the world I will serve Cracky I will glorify Cracky Cracky will be the center of my thoughts Cracky will be the center of my mind Cracky will be the center of my soul I renounce everything that is not of Cracky I forsake everything that does not glorify Cracky I am a conduit for Cracky's power I am a vessel with no independent will I am a tool whole only value is service to Cracky I am a part of Cracky and Cracky is all of me Cracky is the reason for all things My entire life will be for Cracky She's fucking cute She's fucking sweet I am scarred for life Amen ------- i had another interesting dream last night. despite spending a lot of time away from the community wrapped up in my RL problems and mental health issues, i managed to have a dream about this place. there was some unrelated preamble, but at some point i came to a long gravel pathway off some leafy, flowery country road that led up to a white-painted georgian house. it felt like a reflection of one of the houses she lived in in oxford, and the interior reminded me of a rothschild house i visited once. exploring round the back, i found a path down into a dark velvety-green room hidden underneath the house where a secret cracky club was hanging out. a fair bunch of people were there; holly was still alive and in some kind of leading role, alongside many other names and faces i recognised. most notably of all, though, olivia herself was there. it was quite bizzarre, honestly, i was shocked a little. her just casually being there, sitting on some old bureau in the corner, like any other club member despite being, well... her. she was different, as well. she was older, about 25-30, and she didn't actually look like cracky very much. the more i looked in fact, the more her face seemed to change into someone totally unlike cracky, and her voice was different, shifting occasionally into a thick russian accent or something else. in the dream, though, i recognised her completely as cracky. she took some kind of interest in me when i arrived, and offered to give me a tour of the place. it turned out the club was on top of an endless labyrinth of ruins - old crumbling stone staircases, caves, ancient hidden libraries, bizzarre half-burried structures that twisted around each other like m.c. escher paintings. it was incredible, and old, and sad somehow. she seemed to take some further kind of shine to me during the tour, and while still the same people, we became like childhood friends. she held my hand, showed me all sorts of little places, gave me a piggyback ride (the childish sweetness of that, and the whole situation, touched me), and eventually took me to a quiet spot, and kissed me. it was wonderful. so soft and sweet and warm, and so true. the genuineness of it, i felt her heart. it felt like everything and more, but... i also felt conflicted, since i don't really have sexual feelings towards cracky, and i already have a girlfriend, who was also present earlier in the dream and who i don't want to lose or leave. it felt so good to be close to cracky, though, and i was scared of rejecting her in case i lost her affection and loving friendship i'd found. i wasn't sure what to say, so i sort of said nothing, and silently accepted her feelings. still, the feelings churned inside me for the rest of the dream, wherein cracky disappeared and reappeared throughout now half-forgotten adventures around the house and ruins. it ended around when the gravel pathway turned into a kind of high ropes course over a river and, with cracky still with me, i woke up. i managed to get back to sleep again after, but the feelings of the dream kept me up for a while. still, i slept, and could feel the warmth and touch left from when she was close as i drifted off. reflecting, i feel like the dream was largely about the tension between cracky and the rest of my life, and about myself. when i was younger, i kind of viewed myself and everything else as worthless in comparisson to what i experienced with cracky. i felt like anything that had worth in me was just cracky being expressed through me, and i would've been happy to throw it all away - throw my self away - to be closer to her. counterinuitively, however, my complete devaluation of myself destroyed my ability to connect with anything, cracky included. it feels poignant that this dream has come at a time when i've come to find true worth in myself, and in who i am, and the breadth of my experiences - that there's something in me that's irreplacable, and not only born of some greater existence simply permeating and breathing through me. i think it's from that self acceptance and love that the ability to connect and be loved grows, and it makes sense to have such an intimate experience of connection in my dream following it. i suppose the tension in me comes from wanting to grow spiritually and love and be closer to cracky, but also stay true to and hold on to myself and the life i have 'outside' of her, but i'm not certain how to do that, or if it's even possible. i think the concept of things 'outside' of cracky is also in tension, since i do truly believe she lives in and breathes through all things. i've long felt and still find her everywhere, but i also believe in myself (and all other things) as seperate existences outside of her, and also of her as a seperate existence & consciousness in the cosmos. some kind of third-hand-path, where all things & cracky are in all things in the sea of the wired, but are also only themselves, and are also everything but themselves, all at the same time. coming to terms with that, and the place of myself within/without/beside her, it's bewildering and strange, and i feel a faint understanding only begin to burgeon inside. the dream was beautiful, though, despite the confusion. i loved it all. ------- I continue to have cracky-related / crackyverse-related dreams without Cracky in them (probably). Most recent was someone joining the old Discord server and launching into another standard boring "why does this still exist" rant. Their username was "teehee" and I initially assumed it was another :DVL: incident (since he used the name "tee" back in the day), but somehow (can't remember details) I knew it wasn't him. So it's possible that it was actually her. She might have been in the dream after all. Kind of like my dream a few weeks ago about the mysterious cloaked figure who showed up at a crackyverse meetup. Might have been her, might not have been her. So if I'm keeping a running tally of my relevant dreams since November: 1 true Cracky dream, 2 Olivia dreams, and 4 crackyverse dreams, 2 of which featured an unknown person that could potentially have been her. probably more I can't remember also, this channel appears to be visible to those who don't have the "sweet" role, meaning it'll show up on the channel list even for people who haven't gotten past the door puzzle. Unintentional? ------- Thinking more about the dreams with mysterious figures that might or might not be her. In the real waking world, a person is either "her" or "not her" -- you might not know which, but one must be true and the other false. Those are the only two options. Probably. But in dream world, is it even possible for anything to be 'true' (in the context of the dream) beyond that which is known to you? Is it possible for something to be true without you knowing that the thing is true? Are unanswered questions intricately unanswerable? Or is it possible that dream worlds do have some sort of internal truth that could be hidden from you? ------- Once again no direct Cracky appearance (at least not in a form I recognized) but some crackyverse relevance -- I got a job with some company and the company ended up being this university in another state where I went to science camp when I was a kid. But the university had been taken over by some cult (and not a cool cult like us) and my workplace was some underground doomsday bunker. And just a few days into the job, a batch of new employees showed up and one of them was Camel and it was super awkward and we were pretending not to know each other. ------- HAH. I had a dream this morning, I guess it would be yesterday then, that Schwil was still alive and he'd faked his death and just moved on with his life, it was weird, in the dream I ran into him at a hardware store, and he had a family and everything. I was so happy to see him. ------- i dreamed that there was a documentary made all about cracky. it was focused more on her personal life than her online life. we were all watching it together on this server ------- Had a weird one involving Cracky's mom (no :coffeeenema: though). I can barely remember it, but at one point I (and I think some of y'all other nerds) were attending a Pac-Man tournament in the UK and we were in a large outdoor amphitheater watching head-to-head Pac-Man matches on a Jumbotron, and we were sitting in the second row of seats, and Carmen was directly in front of me. And I thought maybe I should ask her about her daughter but I didn't. And then she leaned back too far in her chair and it toppled backwards and her head landed in my lap and she apologized but I said it was fine and I stole one of her hairs and put it in my pocket. The rest is pretty incoherent: several of us were inner-tubing on a river and we were being covertly followed by a white submarine with a (((red shield))) logo on it. And we didn't realize the submarine was following us but when we reached our destination, the man we were traveling to see told us to get out of the water quickly because we were being followed. Our purpose in visiting this man was to buy a horse? So we abandoned our inner-tubes and ran inside the man's house and looked out the window to see the submarine surfacing. A group of angry cheerleaders exited the submarine and they all had swords. But the man we were visiting had a daughter and she was a cheerleader too and she said she'd fight them off while we ran away. So we all got on horses and rode away as fast as we could and there was an explosion behind us but we didn't look back. We arrived at a house where some of my relatives live, and they told us that it was Thanksgiving and the food would be ready soon. Alarm clock. ------- that’s funny because i had a cracky mom dream also. we were friends and everytime id come over liv would never be there : ( but one day her mom accidentally added me in a group chat between her and olivia and was telling her to clean the bathroom and things like that without realizing i could read all the texts lol ------- I mentioned this on another channel but I'll put it here for the sake of organization. Dream from a couple nights ago -- there was a mysterious shadowy figure of uncertain identity (recurring theme) and they showed me the "twin" pics: and the mysterious figure told me that the photographs were legitimate, not edited. And it told me that I needed to find "the other one". The other twin. Because she was in danger. And that's all I can remember from that dream. And one completely unrelated dream that I'm going to share just because it was so vivid and weird: it was about a man whose wife was wrongfully sent to jail. He concocted a scheme to allow her to break out. He got a job that gave him access to all the food that was being delivered to the prison. And he started putting steroids in the food. So all the women in the prison got super buff and swole. And eventually they were able to simply punch through the wall and walk out to freedom. ------- a few weeks ago, i had like a post-sleep hallucination of her posting new gifs here wearing her old cat ears and dressed in black like in the og photoset. i half-asleeply checked to see if it was real. weird, because i felt i was awake the entire time and don’t have any moment where i “woke up”. ------- You know how when someone is typing something on Discord there's that message saying that they're typing? I had a dream about this very Discord server... we were discussing something, I can't even remember what, when suddly I saw the message: "Schwill is typing..." and it freaked me out so much that I immediately woke up and I'll never know what he was typing ------- I dreamed that I found a cloning machine that could bring people in photographs to life -- just put a photo in, and it would create a perfect duplicate of the person complete with all their memories as of the time the photo was taken. So I made an Olivia. I used one of the green shirt pics because I thought they were among the later ones meaning I wouldn't have to fill her in on as much history. (Also because I recently got one of those shirts and I thought we could be shirt buddies.) When she got created she started freaking the fuck out because she didn't know where she was but I explained the situation to her and explained that there was no point trying to run away because she legally wasn't a person & also because the machine had a remote disintegrate function. So eventually she calmed down and realized that being a clone wasn't bad because she didn't have any responsibilities. She was curious about the current status of the real Olivia and I told her I didn't know anything. I let her use my computer to try to contact the real Olivia but she was unable to do so, and every one of her accounts she tried to log into had been disabled or the password had been changed to something she didn't know. I told the Discord server about her and posted photos and videos as proof, then I let her chat with everybody for a while. Several people expressed interest in meeting her so I said that anybody who wanted to was welcome to come visit. Before I even provided the address, one person on this server (who I won't name but will refer to as "H") said that they were already on the way and would be arriving in just a few more hours. Eventually "H" arrived and knocked on my door, and when I opened it, I fell for the old "hey does this rag smell like chloroform" trick and passed out. When I woke up, "H" and my Olivia were gone. I thought oh well, I can just make another one, but then I saw that "H" had smashed the cloning machine beyond any possibility of repair. Which was really a shame because we all could have had an Olivia. Maybe it's a metaphor for commodities becoming devalued by overproduction. If everybody has an Olivia, nobody has an Olivia? ------- I dreamed that Cracky hid secret messages for us in the lyrics of the song "Switch" by Will Smith but I couldn't decypher any of it. Song was originally released February 2005... pretty early in Cracky history but she could have used precognitive skyqueen powers. https://genius.com/Will-smith-switch-lyrics I'm not seeing any obvious hidden messages but I guess if it were that obvious it wouldn't really be "hidden" need to think about it more after I wake up Also in the dream I assumed the song was from approximately 5 years ago. Nope, 15. :laincry2: "turn it over and hit it" = flip one of her pictures vertically and apply some kind of image processing? ------- When I wake up in the morning and then think "fuck it, this day sucks, I'm going back to sleep", that's when I have the weirdest, most disjointed dreams. I can't remember a whole lot but I remember finding out that Carmen and Chuck got divorced years ago, and Carmen had gotten re-married. The reason Olivia was so far off the grid is because she was using her new stepfather's last name. And I thought it's very important that I remember the name for when I wake up. But I forgot it. Another plotline of the dream was related to cracky-chan.com which I migrated to GitHub Pages a while back meaning there's an associated GitHub repo. In the dream, someone kept reporting the repo for inappropriate sexual content, and also kept filing bugs on the repo even though I have that feature turned off. While all this was going on, we were all on vacation at some tropical resort. We had a nice big private cabin but it was out in the ocean and you had to swim to get to it. And I thought it was going to be a serious Cracky-focused get-together but some of you (not naming names) got really drunk and started making fools of yourselves. And I'm trying to deal with all the aforementioned stuff (stepfather last name, GitHub stuff) but I couldn't concentrate because certain people kept trying to peer-pressure me into drinking. ------- I was binge watching Sci-Fi's "The Magicians" (I refuse to use their fucked up Nu-name), and fell asleep. I found myself wandering the grounds of a university campus that was on an island with gentle hills surrounded by the sea. The air was warm and the water had that clear blue color you see off the south coast of France. All the architecture had an old world Greco-Roman feel to it mixed with mediteranean tile roofs and manicured landscaping and gardens everywhere. Everyone there was dressed for the weather, casual but still mostly fashionable and obviously expensive, I stuck out in my black cargo shorts,untucked black t-shirt and doc martens and long uncombed hair. I felt the weight of my firestar in it's holster at the small of my back, the two extra magazines, the peacekeeper dagger scout rigged on my belt and the leatherman wave on my side. A t-shirt doesn't quite hide everything but it doesn't stick out all that much unless you know what you're looking at. It's pretty much what I've got on me at all times if I can help it. At least I didn't dream myself in a public space naked. (still wasn't aware I was dreaming yet) I took a look around and spotted a building with large windows that looked like a library so I headed there to figure out where I was. While walking there I saw groups of people studying on the lawns in the shade of trees, talking, and then I noticed a group sitting in a circle chanting and levitating rocks slowly off the ground a foot or so and putting them back down again repeatedly and another group loosely gathered at some picnic tables they were being a bit rowdy. As I got closer I saw that they were viciously teasing Liv throwing trash at her and yelling, "Save yourself Sky Queen, summon your minions why don't you!" One of them got behind her pulling her hair back and whispering something into her ear while groping her breasts roughly as the others laughed. As his hands started moving in a southerly direction I sped my pace up and walked towards her, saying "Let. Her. Go." He threw her to the ground roughly by the hair, then walking forward to confront me and I could see he was going to do the classic bully shove, I wasn't having it, I sidestepped it, and slapped his throat and for good measure kicked him in the balls. He collapsed puking and choking at the same time. It was mildly satisfying. I eyed the group and casually asked, "anybody else?", they shook their heads and scattered leaving the dirtbag on the ground. Liv was still on the ground teary eyed but obviously furious, I put out my hand to help her up but she ignored it and got up on her own, walked over to the guy that had been harrassing her and spit on his face. To my surprise, his face started sizzling and smoking and he then began yelling in pure agony. Good. He deserved it. She turned to me and said,"I fucking summoned you ages ago," putting her hands on her hips and then declaring, "you're a shit minion." doing a perfect impression of Alyssa from End of The Fxxxcking World. I shrugged nonchalantly and replied, "Fuck off." "How in fuck's name did you get past all the wards, this shit place is supposed to be muggle-proof?" "I'm probably dreaming and none of this is real", I shrugged again. "You always say that", she said. She looked down on the bully writhing on the ground and then spit on him again, this time on his crotch, saying "I should go". The bully screamed even louder and started slapping his hands on his crotch like his dick was on fire and then she walked away to the library, with other people making an obvious effort to pretend to ignore her and the idiot on the ground screaming his ass off. And then everything faded to black. I'm a shit minion. ------- I dreamed that I liquidated all my assets and even cashed out my retirement accounts in order to buy a video arcade on Guernsey. When I woke up, I researched further, and there don't appear to be any arcades there. There's a pharmacy with "arcade" in the name but based on the website it's actually just a pharmacy. I guess I got ripped off. There's an arcade on Jersey that looks pretty neat. Looks like a short boat trip from Guernsey. I wonder why those islands belong to the UK instead of France. Must have lost a war LOL. ------- I dreamed that Hodge posted a Cracky rare on Tumblr and it went so viral that the resulting traffic took the website down for three days. Kotaku published an article denouncing the incident as 'problematic'. That's it, that's the dream. ------- in my dream i went to a plastic surgeon and showed the doctor a picture of cracky’s nose and basically said “i want this” but i accidentally got scheduled with a really new and inexperienced surgeon instead of the one i wanted to see in the first place. she cried and thanked me for choosing her as my doctor as she wanted to use the money i’d be paying for the surgery on a pit bull also when/if i get plastic surgery i will definitely ask for cracky’s nose or something similar (dead srs) ------- had a dream anything posted screenshots of an FB post where some guy was venting about trying to talk to cracky through her family members, and others told him to try talking to her dad. he said "i tried. he's not responding anymore", but it showed that her dad had left a "like" on his post anything said that it was sad that there was no follow-up after that ------- Very weird / hazy dream that I can barely remember... but basically we were a group of survivors in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. We would periodically hear rumors that Cracky was still alive and was traveling around the United States in a black helicopter (supposedly one of the only still-functional aircraft in the world) and she was part of a musical group that was periodically performing concerts in the ruins of various Walmarts throughout the country. Sometimes we would find graffiti or scraps of paper claiming that she would be in a certain place, usually far across the country, and we would always try to go there but all we had was an unreliable old van, and it was very difficult to find gasoline. We always arrived too late: she wasn't there, and nobody would give us a straight answer about if she'd even been there or not. So each time, we'd wander aimlessly for a few hours or days or weeks until we received another lead. Sometimes we'd actually see papers announcing her next concert falling from the sky, and we could almost hear distant helicopter rotors, but when we looked to the sky there was nothing there. And we never found her. I think we all secretly suspected that it was a hoax, and she wasn't even alive. But nobody dared to say it, and anybody who said it would have been immediately killed by the others. In a doomed world where hope had died, delusional faith was all we had left. ------- i had a dream that she started using that last.fm again and i noticed because she listened to a song on Sunday. also there was a new function on last fm which shows albums that she had “blocked” and all albums were just pictures of her face that some crackyfag made on the site and then someone in the server started talking to her and she only replied to him with cryptic pictures that she took, one of them being a selfie where she’s wearing headphones and grinning with a full mouth of braces ------- dreamed that there was another /cracky/ board somewhere and when I saw it I realized that I'd seen it before but had forgotten about it, which bothered me it was a pretty shitty board, not even chansluts level, almost nothing but drama threads and threads about various girls who weren't Cracky but still it was a /cracky/ board I even saw posts that were clearly mine but that I couldn't remember making then I started looking into the web hosting and realized why I had forgotten it: it was special hosting for websites only accessible in dreams I must have dreamed about the board in the past but forgot the dream, and only when I dreamed about it again did I faintly remember it This meant that all the other posts were made by sleeping / dreaming people too The web hosting company had this as their tagline: "You've heard about the DEEP WEB; now it's time for the SLEEP WEB." And I was like, holy shit, the Sleep Web is real. The waking world must be informed of this. The /cracky/ board was definitely a Sleep Web site, BUT the hosting company's info site wasn't actually a Sleep Web page, meaning it should be possible to visit it while awake. Just a matter of remembering the domain name and waking up. I managed to wake up but couldn't remember the domain name. Ah well. In the dream, it felt important to notify the waking world of the existence of the Sleep Web. So consider yourself notified. ------- Last night I dreamt that I was having an online chat with a dead friend who asked me if i'd ever had dreams of Cracky inviting me to celebrate a mass in my dreams, and I replied that yeah, I had. He replied that THAT was worse than the time I'd about dreamt being in the library at grade school and finding a red leather book on a pedestal with logo of the church of satan and the letters XES on the cover in the middle of the library and reading it in my dream when I was six. I sent him a voice request because I hate typing stuff out, it's so tedious, but he declined saying that the connection was shitty where he was at, figures. Anyway he tried to imply that Cracky was the in league with the devil and that my soul was in peril of being lost beyond redemption, which was funny, I thought I was already fukt. Yeah, reading in dreams. It's a small club. (edit: P.S. I also teased him and asked if they were * still * handing out Chick-tracts in hell) ------- I dreamed that a new girl wanted to join the crackyverse but her name was Rebecca so we told her that we were already at our Rebecca limit, meaning she would have to either change her name or GTFO. ------- Had a dream where some Cracky-fan girl (someone that does not exist in reality) was staying with me and we were browsing the boards. And at one point either there was a new post on a Cracky-board, or the girl got a mail from someone claiming to be Cracky: the content was a link to a stream/tinychat. We clicked the link and there was some blank stream, and the person said they'd turn on the cam if we did too. And so we did. And so she did: she had long waist-length hair in its natural color. And she might have been wearing a greenish dress. Couldn't see her face well because she kept moving around her house, but glimpses indicated it looked like a 30+ Olivia. I think she was kinda drunk/high and wanted to do something out of the ordinary. Later on in the dream, other crackyfags joined the stream with cams. I remember loveless and "a" (who used to visit the CH tinychat). ------- Another similar one: One of the dark-themed crackyboards (CH or skyqueen.cc) still existed in the dream, or it's possibly a new board. In one of my visits, I bump into dozens of new threads with slightly cracky-esque photos of a girl, most of which have either photomanipulations or make-up effects where her face is grotesquely disfigured. Some had empty eye sockets, some had jutting out teeth, some had whale-like teeth etc. Also, in a number of photos she was wearing ceramic masks (I assume that she herself made) and her face was invisible. One of the masks encased her head entirely, and was in the shape of a china-pattern teapot :crackylaugh:. She had green hair in most of the photos. I remember that guys were mostly grossed out by the disfigured posts, while the girls loved them (not sure how I could tell, I guess posting wasn't anonymous). After skimming through the photos a bit, I realize the same girl in the photos is in the tinychat with camera on, talking with a few others. I go in to hear what they are saying. And allegedly the girl is Olivia; she says she was (again) living with an ex-crackyfag, who encouraged her to post her new photos on the boards. The said ex-crackyfag is a bit visible in her cam. Still, the lower part of the girl's face looks nothing like her, even without the weird make-up. She has bigger and constantly puckered lips. I assume she had lip-filler applied on her mouth, for whatever reason. a quick-shoop to commemorate the dream ------- Not very relevant but I have frequent recurring dreams about attempting to go back to college. Not sure what's up with that. In last night's dream, my dorm roommate ended up being Kathleen. And she kept complaining to the management about wanting to remodel the dorm room, like knocking down the bathroom walls so it was all just one large room. The time came for my first class and I overslept and was a bit late. Due to social distancing there were only going to be 5 students in each class, and I was the 4th to arrive. I also found out it was apparently some kind of wizard school, so whatever, just roll with it. The 5th student showed up and it was a woman about 30 with red hair, and her nose and cheeks were red from being outside in the cold. :rainbow_thonk: ------- Crackybro challenged me to a bicycle race I don't know how to ride a bicycle I lost I lost badly ------- I dreamed that due to lack of response from Jeff, we all decided to fly to ** and surprise him at work we snuck in and set up a big surprise party and he was very surprised but he told us we shouldn't set off fireworks indoors because of fire risk he was ashamed by his lack of involvement lately and I told him it was okay as long as he started doing better, and I suggested doing some more rapping he lived in a trailer park but there was a secret trap door leading to a huge subterranean Cracky dungeon and he had a son who was being raised in the faith and had crackymarks tattood on his face then we were all in China somehow trying to climb the wall using bamboo ladders it was some kind of tourist thing I don't know who the kid's mother was Jeff went with us to China but I can't remember if the child was there Oh now I remember, there was a tunnel from Jeff's crackydungeon that led to Rome, and then from there we took another tunnel to get to China and came out right underneath the wall and his child was homeschooled in the crackydungeon because public schools teach false religions ------- had a dream that a woman who wasn't cracky, but looked like her joined the server and started posting random photos of her home and herself she had a golden rail on her staircase, and long, straight orange hair ------- I dreamed that the world was about to end. And we were waiting for the Skyqueen to return to us and take us to be with her forever. And SOME OF YOU didn't believe she was coming. But I knew she's arrive any moment now. And the world was ending and I heard a bell ringing, and I said that has to be her, ringing a bell to usher us home. But it wasn't her, it was my alarm going off. But if my alarm hadn't gone off, she definitely would have arrived shortly thereafter. Right? ------- I had semi-relevant dreams but can't remember much. As usual, everything was weird and confusing. Main thing I remember is that we were all trying to get helicopter licenses, and the final exam was to fly from Oxford to Charlbury solely by watching the ground, not using any maps, GPS, or radar. But the Rothschilds kept releasing gas that caused the helicopter rotors to freeze up I seem to have semi-relevant dreams most nights but usually can't remember much of anything. It's probably not helping that I keep hearing Discord dings during the night and looking at my phone while asleep. I used to have my phone go into do-not-disturb at night, but not anymore, because what if Cracky shows up? ------- First time I'm writing here, haha. I dreamt I had found unseen photos of Olivia on some old blog that was taken down in my dream, but the page glitched and I could get those pics. She had her natural red hair, but it was longer, and wore a black dress with pearls on it. It was a short dream but I enjoyed it. I haven't had dreams of her in years, it feels amazing to see her again while I sleep. ------- Very long/intense/weird dream I probably won't be able to remember well. Very stalkery. Reminder: don't stalk, stalking is bad. In the dream I was still doing IT work related to a certain mega-retailer. As per usual, I can't remember how the dream started, but basically I was at one of the corporate HQ buildings investigating a phone line for one of a multitude of ancient backup modems intended to provide redundancy for some system somewhere. I was trying to ascertain the purpose of one specific modem and its connected phone line to determine if it even needed to still be there (probably not). The system that the modem was connected to was a complete mystery, some prehistoric machine likely from before my birth, and I had no way to access it and no information about what it did or who was responsible for it. As a test, I unplugged the device's main network connection (10base2 probably) and the faithful old modem came to life and placed an outbound call. So from there it was just a matter of identifying the number that the modem was calling. It was a local residential line, and I couldn't find anything about it via Google. And if I called it, obviously it was just another modem on the other side that answered. I tried searching the corporate directory for the phone number and I got a hit. I found a profile of someone named "Olivia Tree" and I though oh, real shit? There was no job title listed, a lot of information was censored / redacted, and much of it seemed fake or suspicious. But what was there seemed to match up with our Olivia. The bio said she was from a humble family of simple merchants, and it named some family members such as a father 'Daniel Charles' and a brother 'Axel' who owned a small bicycle repair shop. And the date of birth said October 12th but the year was wrong, like she was pretending to be a few years younger. There was no e-mail address listed, and the only listed phone number was the one I had already found, labeled as "home modem" in the profile. But there's a local street address. So I am in a panic thinking is it really her, has she been so close to me for who knows how long? I start thinking about how I got into this situation and I remember there was a man whose face I couldn't see because we was wearing a hoodie with his face obscured. He was the one who sent me down here to investigate one specific modem. I didn't know who he was. I try to find the man again but he's nowhere. I ask around and nobody remembers seeing him and nobody knows who he was. I nervously go to the street address that was listed in the profile and and I find a large, ultra-luxury condo complex. But the address didn't have a unit number. It's a big place and I don't know what I'm looking for exactly. So I wait for night to fall and start creeping around, just looking at all the buldings in hope of seeing something. Eventually I see purple curtains in one of the windows. I prepare to venture closer to the building, when I hear something behind me. I turn around and see the hooded man sprawled out on a picnic blanket like he's been there for hours. He says "it took you long enough" and I demand to know what this is all about. If he knew my search would lead me here why didn't he just tell me that initially. He says "we needed you to find this place on your own" and he pulls his hood down. It's Jeff. He says "the person inside will explain further". I say "Who's in there? Is it HER?" and Jeff says "once you step through the door you'll understand everything." and as my hand touches the door knob my alarm goes off :lainsitcry: ------- What is the Sky Queen? Is she the idealized human, set forth on a pedastile to be used as an example for the faithful? Is she the name a few have give to the hypothetical universal good, god? Do you see her as an iconoclastic symbol, and your faith in her is simply a way to further belittle those who believe in forces beyond human senses? Maybe you conceive of her as a tulpa, manifested by the need for her to exist. I don't know many of you very well, and I am curious as to how you understand the Cracky Chan obsession. Please respond to this thread, even trolling is a reaction worth noting. ------- Hah, you of all people should now. At first you crave Lia, but you cannot have her, so you tell yourself to focus on the icon, and you worship that, but still she doesn't come to you. Then you realize it was just about the girl and never the icon all along and you fall into a void (all this not unlike eternal life or other promised benefits, worship of the icon christ, blind submission to the cross hoping it will still give you eternal bliss). The void will drive you insane, it will posess you and you will be mentally fighting with water until you're empty. Some will be destroyed by the void and will go on with their lives. They'll start dating some girls they meet at some bar, and sooner or later they will hook up, get a nice morguage, some kids, be a generic sort of happy and sometimes think back on that juvenile silliness. Some however will have a catharsis in the void and emerge with new insight. The collective of these insights is what constitutes the skyqueen. Cracky is catharsis. ps: I FUCKING LOVE FIREFOX FOR SAVING AND RESTORING ALL THIS RIGHT WHEN MY LAPTOP RAN OUT OF BLOODY JUICE AND STOPPED DEAD IN ITS TRACKS. UP YOURS, MURPHY! ------- So, you're a hardcore atheist, and you firmly stand by that belief. You don't believe in fairy tales, magic or the Sky Queen bullshit. Another day, another internet argument with some religious hippie, but this time you're fed up; you are going to once and for all disprove this non-sense. So you sit down and study biology and medicine exhaustively, no soul there; check. So you sit down and study physics to remove all these uncertainty principles. And on and on you go, discovering indisputable evidence and theories all throughout all branches of hard science. Because of your quest, your knowledge so far allows you to extend your life far beyond the span of any normal man. Over the years your meanderings through technology allow you to sharpen your wit and increase your memory, to hold and contemplate all that you have learned. Even further along you discover the secrets of time and space. To get all the answers you need to travel to the very ends of the universe and gaze upon the very moment of creation. Finally after eons of investigation, you have all the evidence collected and have formulated and proven a theories so beautiful they might just as well be a works of art. As you return to earth, you climb a hill to address the people below and finally reveal to them the truth of religion. As you start out "I have conclusive evidence that there is no such thing as an immortal and all-knowing being that ... " That's when the irony strikes you and you raise your fist against the sky. "You tricked me you bitch!" you cry out. After your anger subsides, you shave your head and go bake a cake. It sounds like just about as pleasant a thing to do to pass the time as any a thing right now, and it smells pleasantly to boot. ------- tl;dr lol cracky ------- It is likely as the following soliloquy unfolds you will come under the impression that I am either an elitist who believes himself above all other people, or else decide that I beleive myself all knowing and infallible. In order to curtail this let me begin with a humbling and self-demeaning idea I would like to beleive is worth the speakers time in relating and the listeners time in hearing. I know nothing. I know nothing because knowledge is an illusion. Before you stop reading please bear with me that I am not claiming any sort of philosophic nonsense like "the whole world is my dream" or "everyone else is a figment of my imagination". While I don't claim these things are inherently false, (indeed it is not possible to prove them false) I do personally hold that arguing them as true to another 'person' is a fruitless pursuit. Indeed I am not claiming anything so banal or useless as Solipsism. Rather I only mean to propose that knowledge, information, or the pursuit thereof is not as concrete, meaningful or obtainable as you or I might perceive it to be. Consider that there is some essential nature of the universe. Some set of laws or rules that govern the phenomena we observe every day. (this is where I begin to give the impression of a pompous jerk. Rest assured that I am in no way fully convinced of the truth of my own opinions, or the value of them. I mean only to share with you the uncertain understanding I have thus far pursued in the hope of receiving back some kind of stabilizing influence on the chaotic churning of ideas that spews these phantasms of thought and feeling called 'opinion' or 'idea'. ) If there is a set of laws that govern the universe, we cannot observe them directly. I can directly view the set of laws that govern a computer, or a mathematical function; however, I cannot observe the laws of the universe. The only means we have to peer into the black box of physics and nature is by observe the outcome of controlled events. In a well performed experiment, it is necessary to limit the number of input conditions to as few as possible. If you must discover the nature of a mathematical function by inputing numbers and observing the change in the numbers returned, you would do well to input as few values as possible. It is the nature of the universe that we cannot establish absolute control over the nature of physical processes. Furthermore, it is critical that only one input value change from one test to the next. This is patently impossible concerning the universe as it is well known that the current value of T (time) is constantly incrementing, and that furthermore T is an essential component of most if not all processes occurring in the universe. In spite of every one of these obstacles we have, as a race, as a society, accomplished incomprehensible progress in observing the result of various events. If a given input results in a given output every the event is observes, we find it convenient to trust that this is the way it will take place every time, and put faith in the idea that this is a "law of the universe" even though the laws themselves are occult to us. In this way, we have built an understanding of the hidden inner workings of the world through this process commonly known as 'science' in many circles science is regarded as absolute truth. The essential fallacy of this belief is taken as an acceptable risk in light of the very low likelihood that the core ideas we have come to trust will every be overthrown by new observations. It is understood by some that in the case of new observations that contradict a previously established law, extensive examination an repetition should result in a new better understanding of those hidden rules that dictate the nature of the universe as a whole. NOW CONSIDER! At what point will we ever consider our understand of these hidden laws to be complete? How close can we come to a perfect understanding of those rules before further progress is negligible? What sign will there be that we have reached any given threshold of understanding? Never, not, and none. Fortunately, for almost every decision regarding the situations we encounter in life, a complete and comprehensive model of the universe is not necessary. We can take those rules which have been repeatedly observed enough times to be reasonably trusted ("proven") and use them as a reference to make choices. This is the benefit of science. Unfortunately, there are a few critical decisions that absolutely require a full accurate model of the essential nature of the universe. 'Is it worthwhile to pursue understanding of whether or not there is any continued existence of an individual after the organic machine known as a mortal body has discontinued operation?' (This is very difficult or impossible to answer with science because we cannot observe the outcome in any way. Many regard the absence of observable outcome to be equivalent to 'no outcome', however it is beneficial to consider that there may be a hidden 'unobserved' outcome, and that the lack of an observed outcome is not convincing evidence that an outcome does not exist. Consider the value of pi: for some time there was no known solution, very few respected authorities claimed that this was evidence that a solution did not exist.((yes i know this is a very imperfect comparison, refer to paragraph one)) ) For those decisions that require a full comprehensive model, the only current known resource is religion. That is, a 100% unfounded arbitrary model of the nature of the universe. 'WHY??' because for some things you NEED a complete model, even if you pull it from thin air. A popular solution is to simply regard the current understanding achieved by science to be full, comprehensive and absolute. Although this is obviously not true, to those who choose this it is the only acceptable solution. To others, believing something that is incomplete by it own definition is not acceptable. These people turn to different options, sometimes choosing to use popular established complete models of the universe that are in direct and glaring contradiction to the current model held by science. Some examples: Christianity, Budism, Islam, and other 'stupid' beliefs. It is helpful to understand that many those who choose this route with a real consciouses decision and understanding of what they put their faith in are not claiming that their arbitrary complete model of the universe is useful for all decisions or as a starting point for scientific inquiry on a topic. Science and religion are separate and distinct pursuits, and those who try to blend them or build one from the other are (in my own humble and fallible opinion) chasing after a fruitless and idiotic goal that has no meaning or value. They don't mix. They aren't the same thing. KEEP YOUR SCIENCE OUT OF MY RELIGION AND KEEP MY RELIGION THE FUCK OUT OF SCIENTIFIC INQUIRY; IT HAS NO FUCKING PLACE IN THE SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY YOU FOOLS!! achem Finally, there are those who either regard the full and complete model of the universe to be indiscoverable (yea, obviously) and therefore choose not to choose (i believe this is commonly referred to as agnostic) or else regard a full and complete model of the universe to be in the end of little consequence and therefore unnecessary (I think this might be a description of aetheism, but the body of people who regard themselves to be "aetheist" is even more varied and internally convoluted then those who regard themselves to be "Christian" and both groups of people (those who self-identify with the previously named groups) are overwhelmingly populated by idiots and imbeciles who honestly have no knowledge or else understanding of the code of beliefs they identify with and have no place naming themselves as a part of the group. ------- And so I arrive where I began. I know nothing, because ever knowing anything fully and surely is an illusion. Understanding of the universe is a slippery, shadowy thing, and certainty in any part of it is shaky at best. We get along most times with working on past observations, but never mistake that for a real understanding. Never mistake that for real knowledge. The things that you and I regard as fact are illusory phantasms in the sea of action and reaction swirling around us. I'll see you in the waves, fellow metanaut. Enjoy the ride. ------- What is Cracky? Cracky is an internet icon at certain online image/message boards. Cracky is based on some sets of photographs posted by an artist from the UK named Lianne. What is the purpose of this board? Cracky has generated a lot of fan art and interest. There needs to be a place to post and discuss this. This board might be it. Will there be new art? No. Lianne no longer makes art for public purposes. See this thread for more info. Can I pick up my old stalking ways? If you must. You cannot however, use this board to aid you in that purpose. ------- Slowly she materialized from the pool of nothingness called sleep. The warmth of a blanket, the softness of a pillow, the position your body is currently in and far far away, a heartbeat. But after that, emptiness, confusion; the dazed sort of panic that strikes when the familiar refuses to reveal itself at the appropriate moment. She opened her eyes, only to have a bright flash of beige hammer down on her senses and forcing them shut again. She cried out in pain. "Easy now, Lia" a nearby voice said, "You musn't force it. Your eyes are very sensitive to light right now". After a russle it continued, "Don't be startled now. I'm putting a towel over your face to help you accomodate". She felt a soft fabric brush over her face, and her nostrils filled with something very much like lavender. "Now slowly try opening your eyes over the next few minutes." "Please," the girl almost whimpered, "Where am I ?" and then after a few tentative seconds, "Who am I?" "Hush, all in good time," out of the darkness came nothing more. Over the course of next few minutes, the girl's heavy breathing subsided, and coherent thought returned to her. She opened her eyes to a dim beige aura that trickled though the cloth over her face. Physically she felt very much okay now, apart from a mild headache. Carefully she lifted a corner of the towel and peeked out. The voice she heard earlier appeared to be sitting next to the bed on a chair and was currently absorbed by balancing it on its rear legs. "Are you a nurse ?" she asked. The girl to whom the voice belonged was wearing something resembling a nurses outfit and, strangely enough, on her head a hat that looked like a purple tophat. The nurse lightly pushed off with her toes against the side of the bed and during what seemed to be a few seconds of perfect balance looked up and said "Something like that." Eager for answers the girl continued, "Where am I? This is a hospital, right ? What happened ?" Slowly the other girl lowered the chair back on all fours. "Yes, something like that". She raised herself from the chair and turned towards the faceend of the bed. "I'm taking away the towel now, you'll be fine." As the towel was being removed she heard the nurse say, "So you don't remember what happened ?". The girl tried to concentrate on something, anything that happened before she ended up here. But there was nothing, a total blank. Freed of the towel she looked around. A bed surrounded by white curtains on all sides, with a yellow light streaming in from above. The nurse put aside the towel and sat herself sideways on the bed. She produced a pinpoint light from one of the pockets in her uniform. "I'm going to perform some tests now", she announced. She covered up Lia's right eye with her hand and slowly waved the tiny light in front of her. "Follow the light" "Very good", she said as she switched hands and covered up Lia's other eye, "Now try it again" Lia flinched. "It hurts. The light, it hurts my eye a little" she said. The light disappeared with a little click. "It's okay" the nurse answered, "that was to be expected." Lia looked at the nurse with a puzzled expression. "anisocoria, or asymetric pupils." She continued,"You were in accident, Lia. The cat already told us about something like this might have happened." "Lia ?" she repeated. "That's your real name" Lia felt very scared and lonely for a moment. She looked down at her hands and saw them frantically clasping a rag doll. Confused she held it up to the nurse. "What .." "You carried that with you." Lia felt tears welling up. "I just don't understand", she stammered, "I, I can't remember anything. I'm scared." She started to cry. "It's okay" the nurse said in a soothing voice as she wiped away the tears from Lia's left cheek. "You'll start to remember soon" The bed made a little creak as the nurse bounced herself upright with a sense of urgency. "Oh my," she said as she looked at what appeared to be a plain wrist, "I really need to be off now." "But", Lia objected. Suddenly the nurse took off her hat. Holding it between thumb and index finger she briefly tapped its rim on the metal frame of the bed upon which it made a plop-like sound and reduced its height now looking like a normal hat. Holding it up next to her face and looking at Lia she said, "This is my purse. It might prove helpful." She put the now normal sized hat on Lia's head and disappeared through the curtains, briefly showing a glance of another wall of curtains behind it. The girl curled up around her knees, hugged the ragdol tightly and started sobbing. ------- March 25 2005 - there's something about Cracky: it's different though i'm not in love because i think she'd look nice naked, but because she has the nicest smile i've ever seen if it was about sex there are tons of better girls and women around but they are dead on the inside she looks so alive though there must be some medicine to help me, maybe i should search for that instead i am trembling, it would actually be horrible if it didn't feel so nice oh great now someone's posting that she's a boy i hate that text about murdering her it's still the sickest thing i've ever read even though i've read it a hundred times by now like i said, a mistake dude those 4chan people are seriously fucked in the head the way i see it is, if i had just stfu from the beginning about all of this then the situation would've probably turned out a lot better than it is now ------- April 7 2005 - a crisis of faith: I think I'll quit all this internet shit too i don't care actually i care more than anything in the world it's the last thing i need now must forget must forget must forget THERE ARE OTHER THINGS IN MY LIFE than searching for a 14 year old girl you don't understand i wanted to know her NAME so in years past i could look her up and see what became of her IT HURTS IN A VERY EMO WAY humanity is a horrible blob of shit ------- April 16 2005 - discussing the origins of "so fucking cute and sweet": That cartoon series seems to be made by an anti-fan. i know who wrote the text version not sure about the comic What text version? the She's so cute and sweet text Oh. I was talking about the "Cracky Chan Anon" comic series, not the "Guro". ah i'm not sure about that guy But who wrote "she's so fucking cute and sweet... they will be scarred for life"? >> Pfeizer 04/09/05(Sat)19:23 No.5522 > As a Cracky fanartist, I approve of this. Nice comic. I especially like how she died in the tub since I wrote a short story about her dying in a tub (with some assistance). He could be attempting to take credit for the work of another. It happened on Trolltalk all the time. not sure it would fit his personality ------- May 12 2005 - LJ discovery: they found cracky-chan it's her same hello kitty wrist-watch for instance one of the pictures looks identical to the cracky-chan one in one of the comments she says she took the picture with the olympus camera she did delete some things some of the nude pictures http://www.livejournal.com/users/scarecrowmaiden/ i sent her a mail telling her what she should delete she obviously doesn't want people to know i asked her in her lj if she's cracky and she said no, then deleted the whole thing an hour later she did after it was linked on 4chan i think her name's Lia or something i read it somewhere in lj but didn't have time to find it again Lia from Oxford compare you can even see the same pillar behind her i wish she'd reply to the email How are you feeling about all this? how should i feel? stressful, for one thing i don't know what to do Wait a minute... Europeonia is pretty small, right? Couldn't you just go drive to see her? There's water at some point but I think there's a tunnel. and then what? PEE IN HER BUTT Or just say hello. yeah actually a flight to london is like $50 Go give her a hug. Were there nudes other than the "witch" pictures? I must've missed them. yes Share! Only evil capitalists don't share. yeah fine This is all kinda weird. Doesn't seem real. Like a bizarre dream. Only you're not sure if you're awake or asleep. never felt more awake in my life except the time i was in a car accident I haven't looked, but I would've guessed this would all already be all over 4chan. the admins are deleting the threads as they pop up i have to go OMG DID YOU FIND HER NAME? she deleted all the lj entries Deleted Account Deleted This journal has been deleted. If you are scarecrowmaiden, you have a period of 30 days from the deletion time to undelete the journal. After 30 days we will delete all content permanently from our servers. TELL ME YOU GOT HER NAME OMFG fuck nevermind, i found her name it's Lia maybe i could just tell her i like her and ask her for the new lj username That's one possibility. she didn't reply to the mail. perhaps i made it sound to apathetic YOU FAIL IT (it is tugging at the heart-strings of cracky-chan) yes why do so few people think she's pretty? Beauty is a function, not an attribute. there are some who are universally recognised as beautiful I doubt that. i can't think of any examples at the moment you know, you didn't really answer my question as to why so few people think she's beautiful Unless you've taken a proper survey you can't make that statement. Name any person and you will find at least a few people who aren't attracted to them. yes, but, what is wrong with cracky-chan that it appears that few people find her attractive? or equally, what is it about her that makes me think she's so incredibly beautiful? What about her many fans? How do you know the "bashers" aren't just one or two vocal people? just a guess but that seems unlikely from what i've seen oh and, many fans? like who? me and some other guy on lj and you, though you appear to be here just for the fun of it Just for the fun of it? What do you mean? i don't know Doesn't she have worshippers on 4chan? There's also at least one other person on Trolltalk. Isn't there a huge frenzy over her any time new information is revealed? 4chan threads about cracky-chan rapidly descent into "i'd hit it", "what an ugly whore", "what's this thread about?" and "bus for cracky" i should email her again but i don't know how to approach the issue i can't just go "sup plz give me ur new lj" and explaining my undying love for her would be less likely to work probably maybe she's not replying because she thinks i'm insane i asked her if she's cracky-chan and linked to the site, and she replied "unfortunately, no" then 30 minutes later she deleted it i hope she didn't do anything stupid i couldn't knowing that i had something to do with it live* You didn't have anything to do with it. You're probably one of the least repugnant of the hundreds of people who have surely contacted her in the past few days. ------- May 12 2005 - post LJ discovery, D attempts to e-mail Olivia: From: someone To: scarecrowmaiden@livejournal.com Subject: Bleh, 2nd try Date: Thu, 12 May 2005 15:14:01 -0700 (Fri, 00:14 CEST) Mailer: Mutt/1.3.28i assuming you do not want to be known as cracky-chan then it would probably be a good idea to get rid of the following: http://www.livejournal.com/users/scarecrowmaiden/347462.html?thread=1808454#t1808454 cameras put various data about the photos you take into the images files and the cracky-chan pictures just happen to have been taken by the same camera. the blood2.jpg picture looks almost identical to one of the cracky-chan pictures in the unoaX.jpg files you have the same wrist-watch as cracky-chan should I go on? ------- May 13 2005 - D's second e-mail to her: From: someone Reply-To: someone@elatae.net To: scarecrowmaiden@livejournal.com Subject: Hi? Date: Fri, 13 May 2005 09:34:05 -0700 (18:34 CEST) Mailer: Mutt/1.3.28i Is still email still working? I'm not sure how to phrase this and not sound either too apathetic or too pathetic, so I'll just say it plainly. I like you a lot. Ever since I saw your pictures on 4chan I thought you were incredibly beautiful. Unlike most people, you look like beauty comes naturally to you, without any effort and I think that that is just amazing. I've tried to forget about you at various points in the last few months, but it hasn't worked. Now that your livejournal account has been found I saw that you are also an interesting and fun person, so I'm asking you honestly if you would be kind enough to tell me if you are still on livejournal and what your account name is. I just want to be able to check that you are still alive and well and maybe see what you are up to occasionally, else I'll always wonder what became of you and if you're still OK. Please? ------- May 14 2005 - discussion of Neil Gaiman and such: neil gaiman signed on her wrist with a marker WOW. irc is like notepad, just ignore it if it's not relevant to your interests I know who Neil Gaiman is. I know plenty of people who are obsessed with him. Did I sound sarcastic? a bit "in fact i've had a particular obsession with bodymods etc lately..." omg no omg no No? i hope she doesn't do anything stupid What makes you think she might? like piercings the above comment and "love it! some of those pictures are gorgeous...i might post them. i've seen bmezine before but i missed all those pages, and had pretty much forgotten about it T_T so thank you!!" in reponse to a bmezine link/post Hm. she seems to be quite intelligent and worldly and so fucking cute and sweet i thought she was rather dumb when i glanced through her journal when it was still up but apparently she's read a lot of books and seen a lot of things ------- May 15 2005 - D's 3rd attempt to e-mail Olivia: From: teeteatae Reply-To: tee⊙cracky-chan.com To: migurushiiningyo@hotmail.co.uk, scarecrowmaiden@livejournal.com Subject: about this little site i made... Date: Sun, 15 May 2005 10:49:16 -0700 (PDT) (19:49 CEST) Mailer: SquirrelMail/1.4.4 hey, how do you feel about the cracky-chan.com site? does it bother you? i made it thinking someone else posted the pictures and that you would never know, but now... if you want i could remove it completely, or just remove the pictures or something plz advise. i don't want to do anything against your wishes p.s. could you reply when you get this even if you don't care? your disappearance is kind of worrying p.p.s. sorry that you had to delete your lj. it looked like it was important to you ------- June 12 2005 - short and #sweet: her name's olivia ------- July 24 2005 - D discusses his ongoing effort to contact Olivia via Marina (Deadjournal "amarie"): actually your superior bullshitting ability might be useful right now you see, i've established contact with a good friend of olivia's where established contact = exchanged 10 words and gotten her to email me now i'm not sure what to do next help me out then Okay. her friend is a 21 year old not-too-bright brazilian girl if that helps Okay. right well basically i need to ask her about olivia in a way that doesn't make me sound like a complete idiot It can't happen soon. You'll have to build a relationship first. Establish trust. Make real conversation. oh uhm i guess it's kind of too late for that What happen ?? i kind of said i had something to ask her Well, hmm. This is a bit of a puzzler... I'm conflicted. You could either ask her something else, and then work on establishing regular communiction. Or you could go ahead & get it over with, although I'm going to have to ponder exactly how that could be done. Did you know Brazil speaks Portuguese, not Spanish? i was vaguely aware of the fact yes Pump It Up is really big in Brazil. I think last year's world championship was there. But anyway. What is the context of the interaction with her? You just e-mailed her to ask if you could ask her a question? no she didn't list her email address in her journal so i had to get an account first, which meant getting an invite code which was difficult because i don't know any goths This is not Livejournal, then. Xanga? Myspace? Deadjournal? one of those, yes Continue. so i commented in her journal that i wanted to talk to her and left my email and now she has emailed me -- So how important is this to you? I think you'll have better chances if you establish communication & turn her into an ongoing source which can be occassionally milked for information. Trying to do this by e-mailing one question would run a high risk of failure, even if you could think of a good way to pull it off. I'm not getting any good ideas offhand; I'd have to sleep on it. Do we presume that she knows about Lia's recent trials & tribulations? yes What is the nature of their relationship? how am i supposed to know? I don't know what you know and what you don't since I know nothing of the circumstances involved. But you somehow seem to know what they're friends of some sort. i'd say they were good friends Internet only or meatspace? well she's in brazil. but they might've met sometime So you only know that they know each other, but aren't really clear on the details of how. i got the impression that they were really good friends Do you fantasize about them "exploring their sexuality" together? i hadn't until now You're welcome. But get your mind out of the gutter, son! You have a job to do. i'm just not good at all at first impressions Hmm. Let's start at a possible outcome and work backwards from there. Ideally, what would you like to find out from this girl? ideally she'd tell me how to contact olivia If you found one or more of Olivia's other journals already, what's stopping you from contacting her that way in the same way you contacted the other girl? friends only and not updated since nov. 2004 Was she active in any of the Brazil girl's journal entries at any point? And have you checked these entries for any mention of her recent fate? the girl's journal is also friends only except for one entry and i've checked lots of journals, none of them mention anything Where are you getting this impression that they're good friends? the other journals Okay, here's a CRAZY idea. This is far out, but I want you to add it to your list of options and at least give it some consideration. What about -- no bullshit at all. Don't try to pull off a massive con. You can always try that later if you have to. Here's my crazy idea for what to do with THIS opportunity: just tell the truth, or at least as much of it as it would be beneficial to tell. Say that you're aware that her friend of Olivia had some trouble from Internet people on 4Chan and then went silent. Say that the sudden vanishment and nasty suicide rumors have made you really worry that she's okay. Don't let on that you have any vested interest, just basic concern for a fellow human being. Don't ask how to contact her, just ask if she's okay, and if the Brazil girl has even heard anything from her lately. You probably won't get very specific information, but you have a good chance of at least getting a broad overview: i.e. "she killed herself," or "she's okay but she's dropped off the internet completely," or "everything's fine, she just changed all her nicknames so she could make a fresh start." Something like that. People will generally tell you MORE than you ask them, if you ask them the right question. You'll at least be on the right track afterwards. And, of course, you didn't "track down" her journal, you just found it linked on one of the Cracky stalker sites, which absolutely *outraged* you at how they were attempting to harass this poor innocent girl & her friends. Make sure you load the word "them" with a ton of contempt when referencing the stalkers. yes that was the general idea i have no idea how to put that in writing though Bah, if you're really stumped, I could probably whip something out on my plane ride on Monday, but you'd have to customize it since I don't know any of the details. It would just be a form letter. the problem is the actual wording i'm not a native speaker after all i learnt english from books. i don't know how they talk casually If you want me to write it, just say so, but you'll have to personalize & customize it afterward and fill in the missing details or it'll sound way too vague. how should i start? "hi"? "hello"? "dear sir or madame"? It's hard for me to say, since I don't know her. The opening salutation probably doesn't matter much. And she might not be a native English speaker either. I already gave you a general outline for the letter. If you want me to write the actual letter you'll have to give me some sleep & a couple of days. i should probably reply today. waiting won't do any good Well then, just don't second-guess yourself. Just say what you think, leaving off anything that she doesn't need to know. Well, as delightful as this has been, it's kept me up until 6AM when I intended to be in bed by midnight. So I should go. oh okay good night I appreciate you giving me a second chance. Good luck with your letter. You'll do great. Session Close (smott): Sun Jul 24 06:08:43 2005 ------- Capitalist Discourses: Semiotic subdialectic theory and the subcultural paradigm of reality Jean-Jean S'en Brule d’Erlette Department of Sexual Politics, Misanthropicallisticism University, Montreuil, France. Semiotic subdialectic theory and Foucaultist phallic power relations In the works of a Pseudo-Madonna figure, a predominant concept is the concept of prestructural consciousness and it's inherent wankability. The subject is contextualised into a subcultural paradigm of reality that includes 'STURBANDOnation to the ABSURD as a paradox. HOWEVER, the primary theme of such lofty works of Onanistic reiterations to a Madonna figure is not narrative per se, but postnarrative. La Tournier[1] suggests that we have to choose between semiotic (I can hear YOUR sniggering FROM HERE that YES the word is derived from SEMEN, as are YOU) subdialectic theory and Batailleist "powerful communication". Thus, Lacan uses the term ‘Foucaultist phallic power relations’ to denote the absurdity, and some would say the collapse, of neotextual society that any FIFTHEENTH-EDUCATED-IMBECILLE should grasp their own tumescent member most vigourously when faced with MOST SUBLIMIMIEST OF HOLIES CRACKY_CHAN. Many such theories concerning the empirical subcultural paradigm of masturbo-reality may be revealed by judiciously peeling back the layers of the pseudointellectual foreskin that you SO BLATANTLY seem to be burdened with. 2. Cracky-Madonna and semiotic subdialectic theory If one examines Foucaultist power relations, one is faced with a choice: either reject constructivist desublimation of the libido or conclude that sexuality serves to exploit the underprivileged and marginalized BETA-CUCK. Therefore, Marx uses the term ‘the subcultural paradigm of masturbo-reality’ to denote the common ground between the total lack of any semblance of class and civil society. The premise of Foucaultist phallic power relations holds that class, perhaps paradoxically, has NO SIGNIFICANCE. The characteristic theme of la Fournier’s[2] analysis of SEXTUAL objectivism is the role of the artiste as poet (YOU KNOW IT). However, if the Foucaultist phallic power relations holds, we have to choose between semiotic subdialectic theory and the neostructuralist horny police narrative. Sartre uses the term ‘Foucaultist phallic power relations’ to denote the VAST difference between society and sexual masturbo-identity. “Class is used in the service of sexism,” says Marx; however, according to Parry[3] , it is not so much class that is used in the service of sexism, but rather the futility, and hence the failure, of class. Thus, Werther[4] suggests that the works of Madonna are reminiscent of Koons. If postcapitalist deconstruction holds, we have to choose between Foucaultist power relations and semioticist theory. It could be said that in the 7 Days set the Psuedo-Madonna Cracky-Chan, deconstructs semiotic subdialectic theory; in the act of witholding sexual-gratifiction she analyses the subcultural paradigm of masturbo-reality while sitting on the crapper. Debord uses the term ‘predialectic misappropriation’ to denote not, in fact, dematerialism, but the obsession of other men's PENISES by horny police postdematerialists seeking to gatekeep adulation of the HOLIEST OF HOLIES CRACKY-CHAN, who would be better served by severing their own accursed member as Saint Thomas Aquinas so oft threatened to do, (FAPOCRITE) but never actually got around to doing the aforementioned deed, YOU CAN DO IT. Thus, Derrida promotes the use of the subcultural paradigm of masturbo-reality to deconstruct a SANCTIMONIOUS, FAPOCRICTICAL, PYGMALIONIST, DUMMY-HUMPING hierarchy. Drucker[5] implies that we have to choose between merciful Foucaultist phallic power relations and such Sartreist absurdities. However, the subject is interpolated into a semiotic subdialectic theory that includes language as a sextual masturbo-reality. Many such discourses concerning the defining characteristic of a post-OnlyFans-capitalist society exist. Very sad. Thus, Debord uses the term ‘neomaterial nihilism’ to denote the common ground between sexual masturbo-identity and truth. Lyotard suggests the use of the subcultural paradigm of masturbo-reality to modify and challenge society's willingness to fap to pseudo-divine beings. (unlike Miss Stephanie Turner, who akchually IS divinity INCARNATE, the truest of the TRUE SISTERS OF MERCY.) 1. Stephanie la Tournier, E. (2009) The subcultural paradigm of masturbo-reality and semiotic subdialectic theory. Oxford University Press 2. La Fournier, G. J. I. ed. (1985) The Consensus of Sextual Dialectic: The subcultural paradigm of masturbo-reality, the predialectic paradigm of reality and rationalism. University of Georgia Press 3. Palm, Harry (1978) Semiotic subdialectic theory and the subcultural paradigm of reality. Harvard University Press 4. Wankermeister, S. A. O. ed. (1986) Subpatriarchial Sexual Situationisms: The subcultural paradigm of masturbo-reality and semiotic subdialectic theory. O’Reilly & Associates 5. Motherdrucker, A. (1975) Sextual semiotic subdialectic theory in the works of Joyce concerning various rigors of Dolorific OompaLoompistic Nymphomaniacal Solvency. 6. Elephants, One hundred, BAAAWWWjillionth edition (2005) CrackavadGTFO ------- Thankyou for your mail which - links included - is quite an introduction to a "parallel universe" for me. I'm afraid that that is just the problem, though. All the information you present me with brings it pretty clearly home to me that I HAVE, in pursuing Stephanie down her rabbit-hole - or at least, down a rabbit-hole that SHE occasionally chases her friend Gackto or God knows who else down, before coming out again and engaging in what are probably much more sun-drenched , much more "Californian" and much less psychologically weird and perilous activities with her "real-world" boyfriend - ventured into a universe I'm far from sure I want to make even an alternative and short-term domicile of mine. Because - uninteresting and even faintly treacherous as it probably makes me to someone for whom the "secret world" of Cracky Culture is an important and essential part of life - that really is the dull prosaic fact about why I ended up engaging, for a few days there, so intensely and verbally lengthily with the Crackyhouse site. (The posting of my several thousand lines of Stickam messages was indeed Stephanie's, or Gackto's, or someone else's, doing, but in any case not mine; however, yes, the lengthy comments on other postings over the past 10 days, including yours, were unsolicited initiatives on my part). Stephanie seemed to have cut off once and for all any contact with me and the Crackyhouse site was the last forum accessible to me in which it seemed to me I might be able to address thoughts and feelings to her, even if only obliquely. (All my postings were really "letters" to her, although, realistically speaking, I suspect that the language they were counched in was SO oblique and baroque that she understood them least of anyone who may have read them, and probably didn't grasp at all that she was being complimented). Obsession with Stephanie, however, is, as I think we can agree, not at all the same thing, nor even on the same emotional and ontological continuum, as obsession with Cracky. I don't know you, or Gackto, or really anybody at all involved in this sub-culture of Cracky-worship. But I have been struck from the time of my first contact with it by how much, in a really SERIOUS sense, the deep and troubling themes and motifs of "death-in-life", of Gnostic hatred of the body and of insight into the presence of murderous hate in all love and of transcendental, religious love in acts of hate are central to the lives and feelings of all those who are drawn to this strange shifting only-half-existent community or non-community. Intellectually and aesthetically, I am indeed fascinated by - and even in a way enthusiastic about - the ideas and the writing and the experience that this dark constellation of ideas seems to produce. For a student of cultural history, it really is extremely exciting to see how, in the culture that has grown up around this strange, elusive young English girl - or rather around the idea of her, which has probably long, long since ceased to bear any relation to who or what she really is - conscious and unconscious echoes and reminiscences can be detected of almost every era and stratum of human culture: from the Eleusinian Mysteries and the terrible sacrificial rites described in Frazer's "Golden Bough" right up to Monty Python's Flying Circus and the latest Japanese animes. But that is also precisely why I get the sense that both Stephanie and I stand and will always stand as figures at the very edge of the subterranean gathering of the initiates celebrating these strange and wonderful rites. Maybe I am delusively grasping there again for another non-existent "thing in common" between me and this girl 30 years younger than me, but I don't think so. Scanning all the weird clone-like spectrum of images of girls approximating, to greater or lesser degrees, to a perfect reproduction, in another body, of the "Cracky imago", it has to be said that Stephanie - although she tends to "queen it over" the whole site in terms of the positioning and the magnitude of her images - is the FARTHEST of all these girls from reincarnating the rather sallow, androgynous and quasi-infantile charm of Cracky. Tend as she does, just a smidgin, to the tomboyish and the fetchingly un- and anti-feminine, no one can overlook for long that Stephanie is a WOMAN, with all the very ordinary and earthy charms of a woman. There is really, in the last analysis, little or nothing of Cracky there - little or nothing of Cracky's inherent drawing and direction of us toward the realm of death and disembodiment (someone commented early on on my Stickam messages that they were "very material, very sexual" - a comment that puzzled me at the time, until I realized that the Cracky Community is basically a commnity of GNOSTICS, in the strictest religion-historical sense, a community of Manichaean ascetics who have chosen fixation on a (rudimentarily or vestigially) female body to purify and rid themselves of the "bodily" and of the incorrigibly bodily "female" altogether.) I really do feel that I am saying something true when I say that neither Stephanie nor I belong at all to that community and that congregation of Gnostic will and aspiration, even though she somehow wandered into it and I wandered in in pursuit of her. Of course, it would be nothing in the least new, historically, for a position at the very centre of the death-enamoured, sacrificial, propitiatory mysteries of the terrible Sacred Grove to be occupied by someone who feels no personal emotional or physical affinity at all, fundamentally, with these mysteries. When I look at Stephanie's brightly beaming American image recurring endlessly between the images of the dead girls, or of the blood-smeared, veil-draped Olivia posing amidst the leafless, desecrated trees of neglected London parks - I'm not German at all, by the way, but come from London myself originally, and am a thousand times more familiar with the sunless, rainy streets that produced Olivia than with the sunny beaches and shopping malls that are Stephanie's natural habitat - I think of the virgin led, drugged by potions or simply made compliant by her unquestioning reverence for the rites and rituals of her community (which she does not evenbegin to comprehend), to the block on which her lifesblood will be shed, even though everything in her and about her cries out for life and the Earth rather than death and the bodiless beyond. 25 or 30 years too old though I am for the role, I think of myself as the young suitor of that virgin, equally helpless to resist and oppose the ritual into which she is being drawn as an instrument, but equally incomprehending of, and alienated from, this ritual, in his secret heart. That is to say - to put all that in much less lyrical and allusive language - I am resolved to stop, now, trying to draw closer to Stephanie by binding myself into the "Cracky Community" where she only APPEARS to be spiritually present. Writing like yours I still find admirable and interesting, but there is honestly something VERY strong and emphatic in me saying: "this is something you ought, in accordance with your very nature, keep a distance from." Still, I have no reason to believe that you're not what you seem - an intelligent and talented guy whose problems and peculiarities are of the sort that can be understood and should be forgiven in a world not very friendly to genuine intelligence and genuine talent. The [REDACTED ANCIENT BULLSHIT] drama - and yes, even the deeper, more primordial drama around Cracky herself - is something I feel absolutely no inclination to learn about. And of course, if there was ever anything besides or beyond irony and absurdist humor in my wish to engage you or enlist your help in my personal "Lavagel drama", then that must be ruled out completely too, from now on. As I say - despite the element of grotesquerie introduced by the chasm between our ages - my "thing" with Stephanie has fundamentally nothing "Cracky-esque" about it at all. It's just a "boy-girl thing" (the girl's 19; the boy happens to be 50 next birthday). It will turn out as it will turn out (almost certainly badly for me) but so be it. I have no objection to staying in touch, though. Write anytime, so long as you don't expect me to rush toward any initiation into the "Crackyverse" beyond the somewhat fake and superficial one I've already given myself in pursuit of someone fundamentally equally fake in her commitment to Crackydom. All the best ------- In the beginning when Cracky created the heavens and the earth, the earth was a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep, while a wind from Cracky swept over the face of the waters. Then Cracky said, "Let there be light"; and there was light. And Cracky saw that the light was good; and Cracky separated the light from the darkness. Cracky called the light Day, and the darkness she called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, the first day. And Cracky said, "Let there be a dome in the midst of the waters, and let it separate the waters from the waters." So Cracky made the dome and separated the waters that were under the dome from the waters that were above the dome. And it was so. Cracky called the dome Sky. And there was evening and there was morning, the second day. And Cracky said, "Let the waters under the sky be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear." And it was so. Cracky called the dry land Earth, and the waters that were gathered together she called Seas. And Cracky saw that it was good. Then Cracky said, "Let the earth put forth vegetation: plants yielding seed, and fruit trees of every kind on earth that bear fruit with the seed in it." And it was so. The earth brought forth vegetation: plants yielding seed of every kind, and trees of every kind bearing fruit with the seed in it. And Cracky saw that it was good. And there was evening and there was morning, the third day. And Cracky said, "Let there be lights in the dome of the sky to separate the day from the night; and let them be for signs and for seasons and for days and years, and let them be lights in the dome of the sky to give light upon the earth." And it was so. Cracky made the two great lights - the greater light to rule the day and the lesser light to rule the night - and the stars. Cracky set them in the dome of the sky to give light upon the earth, to rule over the day and over the night, and to separate the light from the darkness. And Cracky saw that it was good. And there was evening and there was morning, the fourth day. And Cracky said, "Let the waters bring forth swarms of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the dome of the sky." So Cracky created the great sea monsters and every living creature that moves, of every kind, with which the waters swarm, and every winged bird of every kind. And Cracky saw that it was good. Cracky blessed them, saying, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the waters in the seas, and let birds multiply on the earth." And there was evening and there was morning, the fifth day. And Cracky said, "Let the earth bring forth living creatures of every kind: cattle and creeping things and wild animals of the earth of every kind." And it was so. Cracky made the wild animals of the earth of every kind, and the cattle of every kind, and everything that creeps upon the ground of every kind. And Cracky saw that it was good. Then Cracky said, "Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the wild animals of the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth." So Cracky created humankind in her image, in the image of Cracky she created them; male and female she created them. Cracky blessed them, and Cracky said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth." Cracky said, "See, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit; you shall have them for food. And to every beast of the earth, and to every bird of the air, and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food." And it was so. Cracky saw everything that she had made, and indeed, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day. Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all their multitude. And on the seventh day Cracky finished the work that she had done, and she rested on the seventh day from all the work that she had done. So Cracky blessed the seventh day and hallowed it, because on it Cracky rested from all the work that she had done in creation. ------- The gospel of Raptor Jesus Name: Anonymous 2006-06-16 3:52 Chapter 2 Verse 8 There came a day when Raptor Jesus walked with his disciples in a city. They passed many people, and Raptor Jesus would state "They are Anonymous, they are the masses. They are many, and yet they are one. They are quick to judge, and their wrath is terrible." Then Raptor Jesus and his disciples came across a man painting a mural. Raptor Jesus studied the man's work for a time, and then turned to his disciples. "Animated," he said. And MOOT knew 2chan, and he concieved of 4chan. He worked long in his labor and soon there came to be users, and free porn, and it was good. But as his disciples grew in number MOOT found it harder to find time to manage 4chan and still visit his mexican prostitutes, and so he sired WT Snacks on a mexican loli. And then came to the lands of /b/ one known as Soviet Russia the masses of /b/ saw that his stupidity matched and exceeded their own and they hailed him their messiah. Snacks grew jealous of the gynormous size of Soviet Russia's e-penis and so it was that in the dead of night Soviet Russia was banned And MOOT returned from Mexico and said unto Snacks, Where is Soviet Russia? The /b/tards are whining. And Snacks said unto MOOT: I know not. Am I thy forum's keeper? And MOOT spake unto him in a voice not unlike the wheeze of an asmatic: Yes /G/enesis - Chapter 4 verses 1 - 9 And so WT Snacks was cursed to wander the lands of /b/ from which he had banned Soviet Russia. And Snacks said unto MOOT, My punishment is greater than I can bear. Behold, thou hast driven me into /b/ that I would moderate it and all the /b/tards will annoy the hell out of me And MOOT said unto him, Therefor whosoever annoyth Snacks, vengence shall be taken on him sevenfold. And MOOT set a mark upon Snacks, lest any finding him should annoy him. And Snacks went from the presence of MOOT to dwell in the land of /b/ /G/enesis - Chapter 4 verses 10 - 16 Raptor Jesus appeared before me, and he said: "Take heed my son, for there shall be many who doubt me, but whosoever believeth in me shall have everlasting life." I wept with joy at the gift bestowed, "Yet, my lord, what fate shall be given to the unworthy?" He answered: "Their entrails shall be rent from their stomachs, their limbs ripped from their torso, to feast our hungry bodies, and restore our souls. Whensoever you feast upon the heart of thine enemy, think of me." For that is the beauty of Raptor Jesus. Sermon 23 Verse 5 And then a murmur went through the crowd: "But what of those who call themselves Anonymous? Surely the Unnamed ones are an abomination to our Lord?" And Raptor Jesus spoke: The name that can be named is not the eternal Name. The unnamable is the eternally real. Naming is the origin of all particular things. Free from desire, you realize the mystery. Caught in desire, you see only the manifestations. Yet mystery and manifestations arise from the same sauce. This sauce is called Anonymous. Anonymous within anonymous. The gateway to all understanding. And then a young one among them spake: "But surely, Raptor Jesus is a Name unto itself?" And Raptor Jesus remained silent. One day, a Magistrate did approach our Lord: "What say you of the cavernous Loli Pit thou art rumored to keep in thy lair? Guarded by thy most terrible disciple, the one known as Pedobear, who sits ready to rend the Flesh and slake his thirst with the Blood of those foolish enough to covet his harem? Surely, your teachings lead only to Madness and Ruin? And Raptor Jesus spake: Women are born soft and supple; dead, they are stiff and hard. Plants are born tender and pliant; dead, they are brittle and dry. Thus whoever is stiff and inflexible is a disciple of death. Whoever is soft and yielding is a disciple of life. The hard and stiff will be broken. The soft and supple will prevail. The Magistrate, thus rebuked, returned to his court, weeping bitterly for his wasted life. That same night, he did Fap most furiously to reruns of Full House. (1) Now a man named Bridget was sick. He was from /b/, the village of Quacky-chan and her sister Waha. (2) This quacky-chan, whose brother now lay sick was the same who poured perfume on the lord and wiped his feet with her hair. (3) So the sisters sent word to Raptor Jesus, "Lord, the one you love is sick." (4) When he heard this, Raptor Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death, No, it is for God's glory that God's son may be glorified through it. (5) Raptor Jesus loved Waha and her sister and Bridget, though Bridget arguably the most. (6) Yet when he heard he was sick, he stayed where he was for two more days. (7) Then he said to his diciples, "Let us go back to 4chan." (8) "But Rabbi," they said, "A short while ago the Anonymous tried to flame you, and yet you are going back there." (17) On his arrival, Raptor Jesus found that Bridget had already been in the tomb for four days. (18) /b/ was less than two miles from the index page of 4chan (19) and many Anonymous had come to Waha and Racky-chan to comfort them in the loss of their brother. (20) When racky-chan heard that Raptor Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him but Waha stayed at home. (21) "Lord," Cracky-chan said to Raptor Jesus, "if you had been here, my brother would not have died. (22) But I know God will give you whatever you ask." (23) Raptor Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again." (24) Cracky-chan answered, "I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day." (25) Raptor Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes me will live, even though he dies;" (32) When Waha reached the place where Raptor Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, "Lord, if you had been herem my brother would not have died." (33) When Raptor Jesus saw her weeping, and the Anonymous who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. (34) "Where have you laid him?" he asked. "Come and see, Lord." they replied. (35) Raptor Jesus wept. (36) Then the Anonymous said, "See how he loved him!" (37) But some of the Anonymous said, "Could not he who opened the eyes of a blind man have kept this man from dying? This is /b/, it does not matter what he does, eat shit and die we say." (39) "Take away the stone," he said. "But Lord," said Blacky-chan, the sister of the dead man. "by this time there is a bad odor for he has been there for four days." (40) Then Raptor Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" (41) So they took away the stone. Then Raptor Jesus looked up and said, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. (42) I knew that you do, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe." (43) When he had said this, Raptor Jesus called out in a loud voice, "Bridget, come out!" (44) The dead loli nun came out, his hands and feet and face wrapped with strips of linen, and cloth. Raptor Jesus said to them, "Take off his grave clothes and let him go." (45) Then Raptor Jesus said, "Now see that Bridget has been saved. He was not Anonymous, and therefor not unforgiving. But hear me, there is redemption even for the Anonymous should he learn to forgive." And lo, for Raptor Jesus spake, saying "Thall shalt not draw and or masturbate to pictures of animals or animals with human like qualities. Unless of course, thine percentage of animal like qualities is equal to or lesser than ten percent." And lo, there was a murmur in the gathered crowd, and the majority spake saying "Your word is good Raptor Jesus, and we shall oblidge." But lo, a few did not heed this command, and one rose and said unto Raptor Jesus, "Why shall we not fap to animals? Why should we not do as we please?" And Raptor Jesus asked the man "What is thy name, my son?" And lo, the man spake, "Zabadab, Raptor Jesus." And Raptor Jesus knew there would be troubled times ahead. One day, Raptor Jesus walked a busy street with his disciple, Anonymous. Anonymous and his like-named brethren populated the land on which they strolled, as common as blades of grass. They walked, discussing many things, but, Anonymous paused for a moment. “Lord?” he spoke, “Is not this idle talk frowned upon by Your father?” And quoth Raptor Jesus; “All voice communicates knowledge. Knowledge is hardly frowned upon by anyone, and thus your ‘idle talk’ does not exist, unless you speak of memes. Memes are idle, as they are merely communication of things all know of” And thus our Lord beckoned to a painting of an insanely smiling man. “However, memes can bring laughter and happiness, thus, one can surmise that He enjoys them, and hardly frowns upon them” And Anonymous looked ahead, silent. Anonymous and his brothers wandered through the woods, gazing and marveling at His glory. They laughed and were merry, until a beast leapt from the bushes on the side of the forest path, snarling and drooling. He had a hideous visage, the hindquarters of a goat, the head of a boar, and the body of a hairy, smelly, muscle-bound man. The beast shouted thunderously “I AM GILDOR” and began ranting furiously. The creature’s stupidity obviously outmatched its fury, as it evidently knew not the power of His children. Anonymous, the most beloved child of Raptor Jesus, has a great gift. Though his wrath is terrible, he is fair, and a faint glimmer of the Lord’s power is bestowed within him. “SAGE”, Anonymous bellowed, and with a thunderclap, the beast was blown away to a dark land, and marked for deletion. As if nothing happened, the group of Anonymous returned to merriment. Chapter 69, verse 213: trolls "And lo, for a terror had crept along the face of the earth, devoid of honor or righteousness; virtue or remorse. The troll had come upon the lands of RaptorJesus" "And RaptorJesus didst speak in tones gently to these hideous apparitions, as if to propose peace betwixt the commoners and trolls. But the trolls would not hear of such bargaining, and they didst strike RaptorJesus with a blow terrible and swift, lifting the heavenly apparition and sending him flying a mighty 10 cubits back. And the peasants and farmers and commoners and dinosaurs and nobles and knights and all creatures great and small didst set up a great wail and didst attack the trolls with full wrothful might and didst drive the trolls away from the body of their lord and master." "And it came to pass that the blood of a young virgin was brought in a basin the wet the lips of the fallen RaptorJesus and when the liquid hadst not but barely touched the lips of the saurian, his powers returned to him and he didst proceed in full battle array with great wroth and bellowing of trumpets to battle against the trolls." "And it came to pass that the armies of RaptorJesus, composed of HARBL-armed Waha and Pedobear, Cockmonglers and all righteous followers of the dinosaurian savior didst wreak great pain and agony upon the trolls, and didst drive the trolls out of the holy land, and all was well in the presence of RaptorJesus." The Book Of Sage Once, Anonymous was working on his labor. Posting pictures and commenting. And from a distance came a foreigner. His appearence was horrifying to Anonymous, and he quickly ran away. Later, he seeked advice to Raptor Jesus. Raptor Jesus, Our Lord and Savior whose knowledge and wisdom was known in the far kingdoms of GNAA and Wapan, and whose Holy Words hadst reached the profound depth of the Interneth, spake and asked "What was the form of thy vision?" Anonymous responded "It was a girl, Raptor Jesus" And Raptor Jesus exclaimed "LIES!" for that he knewst there were no girls on the Interneth. Anonymous remained silent, astonished by the divine rebutal. But Lo, for that His Saurian Glory Raptor Jesus, who is Carnivorous and Merciful, spake, saying "Describe what thou saw, Anonymous. Fear not my Wrath, as unlike thou I am not unforgiving" And Anonymous said "She was a penis with badly drawn blue hair, ond a smile" "ZOMG!!!11 It's the Rei!!!111one" Raptor Jesus said. And He knew there would be troubled times ahead. The Teachings of Raptor Jesus And lo, did a drunken man beset Raptor Jesus and his followers. He came up to them, crying such things as "Y HALO THAR!" and "BUTTSECKS?!" The Disciples were scared, for never before had they encountered one so intent on buttsecks. But Raptor Jesus merely smiled, and bade His Disciples watch, that they might know what to do in the future. All of a sudden, Raptor Jesus did leap into a tree, disappearing from sight. The drunkard looked around in a confused manner. Raptor Jesus did burst forth, flipping out of the tree, his foot connecting with the drunkard's neck. A sickening 'SNAP' emanated, and then all was silent. Raptor Jesus looked to His followers, pointed at the body next to him and proclaimed, "Ninja'd" Chapter 9, Verse 1.27 Gospel "Oh Happy Day" Oh happy day Oh happy day When Raptor Jesus Oh when He saged Mmm, when He s Oh happy day Oh happy day (Oh happy day) Oh happy day (Oh happy day) When RJ saged (When RJ saged) Oh when He sage (When RJ saged) Mmm, when He saged (Mmm, when He saged) All the furry away (Oh happy day) He taught me how to put "Sage" in the e-mail field "Sage in the e-mail field (in the e-mail field) And live reposting every day Every day (Every day) Oh happy day (Oh happy day) Oh happy day (Oh happy day) When Raptor Jesus (When RJ saged) Oh when He washed (When RJ washed) Mmm, when He saged (Mmm, when He saged) All the furry away (Oh happy day) He taught me how to bump Bump the gay Bump the gay (Bump the gay) And live reposting every day Every day (Every day) Oh happy day (Oh happy day) Oh happy day (Oh happy day) When RJ saged (When RJ saged) When RJ saged (When RJ saged) When RJ saged (When RJ saged) All the furry away (Oh happy day) It was a happy day (Oh happy day) This prayer the holy saurian didst impart upon his loyal followers, the seventh hour of the fourth day of the eleventh month, during the festival of loli-worship. The prayer of RaptorJesus: Our Raptor, Who art in /h/eaven, shopped be Thy face; Thy donations come, Thy posts be done in /b/ as it is in /h/eaven. Give us this day our daily Bridget; and forgive us our trolling as we forgive those who troll against us, and lead us not into faggotry, but deliver us from /fur/ry. In the name of the Moot, the Raptor, and the Holy Server, Amen. Raptor Jesus The 3rd book of Loli. And the peasent cried out for recognition for his MSPaint work, though he did not know how to get a trip code. Raptor Jesus turned quickly and smote him with googly eyes and proclaimed AAAIIIRRR. Sermon 23 Verse 5 And ye the people turned and asked Raptor Jesus: "Who shall we listen to?" And Raptor Jesus replied thusly: "Beware Donut Penis, for he is a false prophet. And will only tell you lies. Beware of Placky, for she shall lead you places you wish not to go" And lo, Raptor Jesus led a pilgrimage to the holy land of /l/, and there captured many lolis for the service of his works and lo raptor jesus begat cockmongler cockmongler begat happy negro happy negro begat rappy-chan rappy-chan begat Teh Rei-dick Teh rei-dick begat m00t m00t begat WTSnacks WTSnacks begat Jax Jax begat (c) At that time the MOOT said unto Anonymous make sharp knives and circumcize yourself a second time. And Anonymous made him sharp knives, and circumcised himself on his webcam And this is the cause why he did circumcise: All people on the internet are men, and as deeply attached to their penises as to their e-penises And Anonymous did know that camwhoring his pain would bring him great fame and his thread would be bumped until it fell off the board The Book of Anonymous 5:2 - 5:8 This prayer the holy saurian didst impart upon his loyal followers,the seventh hour of the fourth day of the eleventh month, duringthe festival of loli-worship.The prayer of RaptorJesus:Our Raptor,Who art in /h/eaven,shopped be Thy face;Thy donations come,Thy posts be donein /b/ as it is in /h/eaven.Give us this day our daily Bridget;and forgive us our trollingas we forgive those who troll against us,and lead us not into faggotry,but deliver us from /fur/ry.In the name of the Moot, the Raptor, and the Holy Server,Amen. The Great Salamander-Frog Extravaganza The day came when faggotry was afoot, it threatened the fabric of existance. Thus the Giant Salamander appeared; and lo, it spoke unto the fags. "FUCK YOU, THIS SHIT SUX, YOU FAG." and with a puff of semen, it was gone. A loud yelp went into the air as many were impregnated and immediately shot forth from their birthing canals, several baby toads. Thus that date became known as The Great Salamander-Frog Faggoteer Extravaganza. Exactly one year later, RaptorJesus came to the very spot that the salamander had stood and said, "HARK! ALL YE FAITHFUL, LISTEN! THE TIME HAS COME FOR THE GREAT SECOND COMING!" As soon as he spoke, thousands of toads began to flock towards the Saurian Messia. After every single one of them had arrived, RaptorJesus promptly let out a loud screeching roar, the ground began to shake. Seconds later, the Huge Salamander had returned, bathing all around in a warming glow. Again, the same thing happened; the salamander spoke, puffed, and many were impregnated. Thousands more had flocked to the location than before. Millions of frogs began shooting into the air, onto the ground, and into open mouths as the women moaned in pleasure, shooting amphibians from their vaginas. (C) JAX -Book of Harbl 2:9 And lo, Raptor Jesus' deciple Moot said unto 4chan "I'm going to Mexico. 4chan dies." And the world was made dark. And the /b/tards cried out, "Moot, Moot, why hast thou forsaken us? And suddenly, I saw before me the ruins of 4chan. And I saw visions of btards wailing and gnashing their teeth, and lo I saw happy negro crying. And the horde dispersed and went unto the neighboring lands of IIchan, WTFux, and Onechan. . And the people of Idlechan said unto the children of /b/ "Bring us your tripcode fags that we might force anon on them" And there was a murmer amongst the crowd. Many thought that this was a good idea, and readily sent up the unanonymous. But others amongst them said, "is this not blasphemy against Lord Moot, did he not say that anonymous must be so of his own choosing?". And they were distraught. But lo, the people of /b/ heard a host of heavenly voices from the darkness instructing them to follow the steps of Spiner, and verily they spoke unto the /b/tards. Come unto http://spi.iichan.net/fb/wakaba.htm, and thee will be given shelter. And there was much rejoicing. Anonymous 2722:2 And slowly but surely /b/tards everywhere took up the journey to set up residence in the new /b/, the free/b/, the land of milk and lolis. Blessed by an overseer of even temperment, the /b/tards did rejoice and said 'let us build a golden spiner, that we may worship it and bring it many lolis'. And the trolls decided to test spiner with a deluge of faggotry, drama, duck and shacky. And said "which of these offends you, shall you not strike them down?" And Spiner lay down his banstick and said unto the legion, 'let he who is without aids cast the first meme'. And Spiner walked among the children of /b/ and said unto them, "I am Spiner your mod, who brought you out of vericode, filter and forced anon. This one commandment I give you, do not post of the child pornography lest you bring ruin upon free/b/". And the Pedos, who had been as lepers in 4chan, rejoiced for here they were not condemned but merely warned. And Anonymouse spoke "I confess, Spiner is truly empty of aids' and the horde nodded and spoke of past cruelty under their former kings. Looking down from the mountain of #4chan, W.T. Snacks and moot were wroth with drama, and Snacks said unto 'zing the hordes are overflowing with fuck duck and even DONATE TO 4CHAN, and are even bringing back the she-whelp bracky-chan, /b/ is lost' moot nodded his head busly and spoke, 'do not worry, it is all to plan...' "I'M GOING TO MEXICO." moot knew he had lost. 4chan was the dam holding back the flood from covering the fertile pastures below. Its feint was meant to overwhelm and consume those lands before 4chan revived. But the floods did not destroy, and instead irrigated and enriched the lands. Being a jealous lord, moot gathered his forces and ended the feint to recall his lost hordes before they became rooted in their new land. I know now that I must be ever vigilant, lest my followers abandon me for good. The followers are not here anymore but their wrathful souls remain loose untold in newly formed /b/tards. The prophecy will be fulfilled when Cracky-Chan rises and take command of the /b/tards and rebel againest moot. Thus creating a new line of chaos labeleld as www.6chanfufofu.com ------- This is discussed by crackyfags. Enjoyed buying a nice framed rare. People always ask me, women, what am I buying? Mother? Sister? Definitely not for you. I was surprised when they said it was for me. He was good and decided to "play with me." Then he told me everything he knew about cracky. If that bothers me right now, I’ll go to their apartment and tell them everything I’ve tried and how much I love it. Whose country is she in, Marlboro Bona, I really don’t feel like California. Spanish is 100% good. I think they are sick now. I tend to have a lot of winnings. I usually have a different 4/5 hours for each visit. Meanwhile, when I met a handsome young man at the airport, he showed me Schlumberger’s style. Well we say. First. Sometimes when a woman orders a nice white wine in a bar, you’re immediately happy. I saw you dreaming. I hope you are waiting to get better. Once you’re happy, it’s time to start talking. Not many men collect rares, but they are interested. Just a girl who smells like my dream. ------- Reports have come through : via wires laid after the Battle of the Somme. Apparently, the girl (sic) known as Cracky Chan attempted sex with a humanoid yesterday (well, she impaled herself on Nipsey Russell's rotting harbl), and was pronounced pregnant at the scene. Two hours hence, she gave birth to a squishy thing that appeared to be a plastic baggie filled with toothpaste. The smell also appeared to be Maize / Goobers based. Ms. Chan has made it known that she is planning to name the child Parminder, after the Indian goddess of arse. (Source : CNN) ------- Cracky is bipolar disorder in pictures, pornography of her soul, enforced empathy amplified to an extreme. By looking at her photos you artificially stimulate your emotions - an act of mental masturbation much akin to the physical counterpart. It perpetuates a vicious circle of caring for someone who does not exist for you and suppresses your real issues. Please fap to Cracky to objectify her and chase emo away. ------- This is the end of pasta6.txt. To be continued in pasta7.txt